My Little Amnesia
by Nyx Wordsmith
Summary: In the sleepy land of Equestria, where war and conflict has come to an abrupt end, one pony is descending into the realm of insanity. Who will fall? And who will harm those closest to them? Anthromorphic
1. Prologue 1:A Warning from the Princess

**Prologue**

**A Warning**

This story is set in the world of Equestria and is a fictional story based on anthromorphic ponies (half-human). What you are about to read may be deeply traumatising for those who read it. Further warnings will be added further on. Read at your own discretion.

-Nyx Wordsmith

The land of Equestria has been covered in the peace of routine. No villains have risen up to take the throne, no one has threatened the peaceful livelihoods of mares, colts or foals. In fact, not much has really happened since Queen Chrysalis was banished by the power of love. This is important to the story, I assure you. Since nothing has really happened, the mares you know and love have become a little less than happy with the silence. But life goes on and they continue in their routines, Applejack with the harvests, Fluttershy with her meadow friends, and Twilight with her studies, but the peace is about to be disturbed.

No, this does not include a long lost twin, a surprise sibling, another random villain or even people being transported into the land of Equestria. This is about a particular pony, a pony you all know and love, slowly losing her mind, and destroying those she loves the most.

WARNING: this is a long story, including vivid descriptions of cruelty, violence and mental instability. There will be very little romance, and a lot of painful, suspenseful and frightening scenes. If you are not a fan of horror, for the love of god, don't read this.

- Written by the Royal hand of Princess Celestia


	2. Prologue 2:Twilight's Spiral

**Twilight's Spiral**

'_Those Pegasus ponies really don't know how to keep to schedule...'_ I think bitterly to myself as I glance out the window. Another missed drizzle and it means we have to have a huge downpour. Why can't they just keep to a schedule like I do? Hell, I make mine a month in advance and adjust it accordingly. I'll gladly admit, I'm not as bad as I used to be, trying to push as much together as I can into a month and not being able to rearrange everything, but at least I'm punctual.

I sigh loudly and step away from the window, brushing imaginary dust from my white blouse and sigh. '_Why are they so incompetent?_'

I kick off my shoes and curl my toes into my plush purple rug and sigh in content. At least I was at home again, alone with Spike, who was no doubt chatting away with Owlicious. How that boy speaks to that owl is beyond me, since he says nothing but 'Who?' but whatever.

He has a friend and that leaves me alone to study, the way I like it.

I move over to my desk, brushing some of my dark blue hair from my shoulder and sit on the hardwood chair, sitting back into the plush cushioning of the back and seat. I look over at my newest interests and pick up a large book. Actually it should be called a tome, that's how big it is.

I have to use my magic to even lift it and I place it carefully before me on my desk. It groans in dismay, and I frown, "Oh, cut it out. You've held heavier." I scold the inanimate object as though it'll hear me. I gently pry the cover open and read the big bold black letters inside, "The art of psychology." I frown and tilt my head.

'_Psychology? Never heard of it...must have been a human thing...book does looks pretty old...'_ I carefully lift the weak and thin page, turning it over gently and look over the contents.

"Wow, this is all about humans..." I whisper, and sit up straight, "Then again..."

I couldn't resist the temptation and turned the page to insanity. It was halfway through the tome and I had to use my magic again to turn the pages there. I didn't want to waste the time flipping each individual page as carefully as I had done the first and cut straight to the page.

"Oh...wow..." I whisper to myself.

I hear something crash behind me and I leap out of my seat, turning to the noise. My lamp had fallen to the floor, shattering and leaving glass on the hardwood. It was an expensive lamp and I sigh angrily.

"What the hell? How did that even-" I move closer to it and see bloodied handprints on the lamp stand. I freeze solid, unable to move and look around the room, "Uh...hello?" I call quietly, "Is anyone else in here?"

I was seriously creeped out by now and I stood straight.

"Spike! This isn't funny!"

Spike dashed to my door and stared at me, "What? What did I do?" he tilted his head as I pointed at the lamp, "What?"

"Did you rig this to fall over and put this there?" I showed him the bloodied handprint and he frowned.

"Put what there, Twilight?"

I turn the lamp stand and stare at the golden surface. All that was there was my warped reflection in the surface. '_What the hell-?_'

"You should get some sleep, Twilight. You've been reading a lot lately." He turned away from me, "Have a shower and go to bed, Owlicious and I will clean the place up for you."

I stare at the lampshade and it takes me a moment to realise he was gone. I could have sworn I saw a bloodied handprint on the golden surface of my lampstand, but...but it's not there. I close my eyes and shake my head, '_Maybe I do need some sleep..._' I sigh and put the lamp back on the bedside table, "Spike? Can you clean up this glass for me?"

He reappears at the doorway and nods, "Sure, just go have a shower, Twilight."

I step past him as he brushes the glass into a dustpan and I close my tome carefully. I suddenly feel paranoid and suspicious of Spike, even as he calmly brushes up the glass, humming to himself. I use my magic to slide the tome under my other books I wanted to read and step out of the room, "Thanks, Spike."

He smiles up at me, "No problem."


	3. Prologue 3: Fluttershy's Fits

**Fluttershy's Fits**

Angel Bunny stares at me as I carefully slip down the stairs. He doesn't want me to go, and personally neither do I. The other girls don't care if I'm there or not, and don't pay attention to me even if I am. I sound so selfish writing this down, but it's true. Why would they care if I'm not there once or twice? I mean, I've skipped a few spa treatments with Rarity and she doesn't seem to care.

Why would a few picnics matter? Oh, nevermind. I'll go. I may as well say hi and disappear rather than not go altogether.

I glance at myself in my mirror just before the front door and frown at my hair. The light pink was pretty when I was younger, but now it's too bright, making me look happier than I really am. Something crashes outside and I jump, falling to my hands and knees and hiding my face.

Angel Bunny bounds past me and points out the window as I notice the loud thundering of rain. Did the Pegasus forget again? I carefully slide to the window and glance out as Angel strokes my ear. He has been my closest friend in the last few days, no matter what mood I've been in and too be honest I've been pretty angry lately.

I smile and laugh nervously to myself when I see the thundering rain, "Nothing to be afraid of, right Angel Bunny?" I say softly and jump as lightning strikes again, "Oh, I hate storms..."

Angel bounds past me to the kitchen and directs me toward him. I creep away from the window and he points under the table.

"Under the table? You're a silly bunny. Bed is safer." Angel shakes his head and points again. I sigh, "Oh, alright."

He bounds under before me and I slip under, grinning at the dark coziness. He bounds into my lap as I hear the soft squeaking and tittering of my other meadow friends. I hear something metallic scrape towards me and Angel squeaks to me, "Light the candle, Fluttershy."

I reach for the candle and light it with matches and the underside of the table is awash in the soft glow. I was right, most of my meadow friends were with me, some were frightened and others were just glad to be safer under the table. I smile at them all and hold Angel close.

"Alright, this _is_ safer then bed." Angel laughs and Mr. Squirrel leaps from my chair and wraps himself around the back of my neck.

"Warmer too." He squeaks at me and I giggle, "Tell us a story, Fluttershy. You're stories are always so cool."

I blush and look around at my other friends, who all titter and squeak in agreement. I sigh and laugh softly, "Alright. Once upon a time, in a land called Canterlotte..."

I was actually kind of glad to be there with my meadow friends at that moment in retrospect. I have to admit, if the planned picnic had of gone to plan as it normally did, I would have been sitting there, all alone, listening but not speaking. It was like the first time I met Twilight all over again. Hiding behind my hair and not uttering a peep, but here, with my meadow friends...they all cared about me.

They listened to me, soothed my fits of rage, comforted me in my fits of sadness. They didn't judge me. They didn't hate me if I broke something or accidently hurt one of them, I always made it better again.

And they loved my stories.


	4. Prologue 4: Applejack's New Toy

**Applejack's New Toy**

I yawned and looked up at the window, the rain was finally letting up and I was beyond glad for that. As you all know, writing how you speak is a little bit lazy, so I'm going to do my best not to do that. Although, I bet I might slip up every now and again.

It was Applebuck Season again and I didn't have time for picnic's, but Big Mac had already promised to let me have the day off and go hang out with my boyfriend, a unicorn by the name of Bookworm. He reminded me a lot of Twilight, but male...of course.

Well, I slowly unfolded myself from my bed and stretched, embarrassed when I felt my flannel top ride a little high on my tummy. I pulled it down and reached for my fedora, slipping it onto my head and then slipping into my boots. It was gonna be a bit wet and cold for my shorts, so I'd donned my jeans and heard a knock on my front door.

"I'll get it Granny!" I called, racing down the stairs and past Applebloom, "Sorry, sport!" I called.

I swung the door open and almost gushed when I saw Bookworm standing before me. He was wearing the cutest little sweater with a book embroidered in the bottom corner. It was his Cutie Mark, but it was cute that he still wanted people to see it. He smiled at me, his big blue ears flopping excitedly on his head as he fidgeted shyly with the hem of his jumper. He'd clearly expected another run-in with Big Mac.

"Hey!" I grinned back, "Y'all a lil early." I tried not to scuff my boot on the floor.

"I thought you might like to go and get something...the girls invited us to a picnic..." I grinned brighter, "And you know how I want to meet your friends..."

He was blushing brighter than a ripe red apple and I couldn't say no. I dashed out of the house and closed the front door as some of the weather Pegasus started clearing the sky again, "I would love that, sugahcube." I said, watching him turn and watch me with his big blue eyes. He was so shy I could almost squeeze him, but it was so adorable.

We walked a little bit in silence, both content with enjoying the blooming sunlight until he reached out and took my hand. He wasn't blushing now, but he grinned at me brightly, "You look so radiant when the sun comes out like this..." he whispered, squeezing my hand in his, "Sunrise, especially."

Now it was my turn to blush. I'd almost been grounded when Bookworm and I spent too long outside one night, getting to know each other in ways we shouldn't have been. We'd slept through most of the night and I didn't wake up until past sunrise. When I did wake up though, he didn't want to let me go home and kept me with him wrapped in carnal bliss until noon. Then Big Mac came looking for me and we escaped being seen by the skin of our teeth.

If Big Mac had seen what we were doing, he would have banned me from dating Bookworm. I grinned and giggled, "Stop it, ya lil cutie." I playfully shouldered him, "We coulda gotten in a lot of trouble for that." I added.

He laughed, "But we didn't." He whispered, whisking me around to face him, "Wasn't it exciting, Applejack?" he added.

All I could do was nod when he wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed his hips to mine. He wasn't excited yet, but gosh, did he love me. He cupped the back of my head, and I pulled my fedora away before it covered my eyes. He laughed softly, pulling me closer and burying his lips against mine.

My dear Celestia, did a stallion ever taste so good? He was as sweet as sugar and yet strong as tree bark in winter. He looked so small, so weird and geeky but when he held me like this, took my so feverishly and passionately I couldn't say no. I had to have him too.

We kissed there on the path for a long time, his hand entwined in my golden hair and mine buried in his dark blue spikes. He finally pulled away out of breath, "We do this any longer and we'll have to blow off the whole picnic." He whispered.

"Why not, sugahcube?" I whispered playfully, nibbling on his neck.

He loved and hated it when I did that, "Oh, AJ, you know I want to meet your friends...we have all afternoon to finish what you've started..." he laughed and I pulled away, meeting his eyes.

"You mean that?"

He smiled patiently at me, brushing a lock of golden hair from my apple green eyes, "I mean that." He gently kissed my nose, "You know I love spending time with you."

I smiled up at him, unsure if he saw my uncertainty. He devoted so much time to me, I felt like I owed him some kind of assurance. He brushed hair from my eyes again, took my hand in his and we walked to the spot where we had always had picnics. I saw Twilight already sitting on the mat, her head practically buried in the book and Rarity lounging on the mat with her.

I glanced at Bookworm, "Looks like no one wants to talk today, that's a good sign."

Bookworm looked concerned, but he grinned, "Yeah, it is."


	5. Prologue 5: Rainbow Dash's Questions

**Rainbow Dash's Questions**

I stare down at them, '_Do I really want to be here? They do nothing exciting anymore...'_ I sigh and cross my arms, '_I suppose I should at least say hi..._'

I let myself drift down and sit on the mat, my legs crossed, "Hey, guys." I look between Twilight who glances up at me then back down at her book and Rarity, who acknowledged me with an absent wave.

'_Eggheads..._' I whisper, watching the two flick through their books and...magazine. Rarity reads magazines? I shook my head, trying to stop my rainbow hair from getting in my eyes.

"You guys do anything exciting lately?" I ask, already knowing the answer is no.

Twilight looked up at me again, "Yeah, actually." My hopes soared. I imagined her getting a mission from Princess Celestia or Cadence. I needed something exciting, "I found a new book."

I frowned at her and rolled my eyes, "Ugh, you guys are so boring. I'll be practicing if you need me." I glance to my right and grin at the sight of Applejack, my heart skipping a beat before I saw her hand entwined in Bookworms. I glare at the unicorn before standing and kicking myself into the air, soaring above the group. Why were they all so boring? Hell, lying on clouds was more interesting now.

I remember when we went to fight that dragon...I meant ask that dragon to leave...the adrenaline rush I got from kicking him in the face...

I grinned at the thought. And when we fought the changelings? That was so _awesome_! I just hate the idea of having to fight the images of my friends again. We were so close back then, even after turning our backs on Twilight.

How many times have we done that to her now? Three? Four? We really didn't understand that girl at all I reckon. I land on a cloud, resting on my back and put my hands under my head. Everyone was so b-

"Hey, RainbowDash." A soft voice called and I sit up, looking at Fluttershy. She landed silently beside me, as demure as the day I stood up for her at Flight Camp.

"Hey, Fluttershy." She was carrying Angel Bunny in her arms and sat crossed legged on the cloud, "Done anything exciting lately?" I didn't expect much of an answer from Fluttershy, the most scaredy girl of all time but she nodded, "Oh yeah? What?"

"Well...I, uh, um..." she blushed, "I dodged lightning to save one of my meadow friends from a falling tree today." She smiled proudly up at me but I didn't believe her.

"Oh yeah, right." I waved my hand at her, "You're the most scaredy pony of all PonyVille. I don't believe that you, of all ponies, would risk going out in the thunderstorm to save a few meadow creatures."

She hid her face behind her hair and went silent, absently rubbing Angel's head. She was silent for a long time and I fell outstretched on the cloud.

"Everyone's so boring around here."

"Why don't you believe me?" Fluttershy asked me quietly, "I did it! I did do it!" she shouted at me and I heard the tears in her voice.

"Woah, Fluttershy, easy. I didn't mean to upset you." She backed off the cloud and flicked her pale yellow wings.

Fluttershy glared at me through her tears, "How was that supposed- that whole thing-" she growled angrily, "Everything you ever say hurts everyone!" she screamed at me and I glanced down at the other ponies. Rarity was smirking to herself but uninterested and Pinkie was frowning at us.

When had Pinkie shown up? She normally announces herself...

"What do you mean, Flutter? I never-"

"Shut up, Rainbow Dash!" she screamed at me, kicking the cloud out from under me, "Just shut up!" Angel skittered up from her arms and touched her face which seemed to calm her down. I'd never seen Fluttershy so upset before and she started shaking as we hovered in the air.

"Fluttershy, what the hell is your problem?" I asked, prepared for a shouting match. Hey, it was more exciting than sitting up in a cloud by myself.

"You're my problem! All of you are my problem!" Angel Bunny slipped from her arms and she gasped, shooting into a nose dive and stopping just short of the ground. Well, if I didn't believe her before, I believed her now. She would do anything for her meadow friends.

She sat cross legged on the grass, cradling Angel and sobbing against him. Twilight and Rarity were still stuck in their books and Applejack was slipping away with Bookworm. Fluttershy had just shouted at me. Why the hell didn't anyone care?

"Hey!" I shouted at everyone, "Is there something I'm missing here? Aren't we all supposed to be the closest of friends?" I freefell to the ground, stopping myself just short and standing, "Why are we ignoring each other?"

Twilight didn't even acknowledge the fact I'd spoken and Rarity simply stood and walked away. I didn't know what her problem was, but I didn't much care. Pinkie frowned at me and moved to Fluttershy's side while Applejack dashed off with Bookworm.

That was the last straw for me. I was out of there, "Oh fuck you all then." I shot up into the sky, dashing away as fast as I could, pissed off.


	6. Prologue 6: Pinkie's Secret Pain

**Pinkie's Secret Pain**

I wrapped my arm over Fluttershy's shoulder, as she sobbed and whimpered to Angel, "I'm sorry, Angel Bunny, I'm sorry..."

"Fluttershy?" I asked quietly, trying to pull her closer, "Fluttershy, are you okay?"

Fluttershy shook her head and I pulled her up onto her feet, "C'mon, join us at the-"

"No, Pinkie...I'm sorry..." Fluttershy tried to pull away and met my eyes, "I...I just want to be alone right now..."

"Oh...okay..." I pulled Fluttershy close quickly, wrapping her in my arms and holding her close, "I'm sorry, Fluttershy," I whispered, feeling Angel skitter up and sit on Fluttershy shoulder, "Please, believe me..." I tried not to cry but I could feel that Fluttershy was upset, "Can I come by later and check on you?" I whisper and Fluttershy nodded, "Okay..."

I released Fluttershy and watched her run away, before I turned to Twilight, moving to her and sitting beside her. I didn't really know what to say. I wanted to talk to everyone, but no one wanted to talk. I didn't understand what was going on.

"Twilight?" my voice was smaller and sadder than I would have liked, "What's going on with everyone?"

Twilight shrugged at me and I frowned, "I dunno. Princess Celestia has been asking me to do a lot more study lately. I haven't exactly been able to concentrate on everyone else."

I frowned. Twilight was always the one telling us to spend more time with each other, not to ignore each other and what not. Why was she the one ignoring us?

"What _are_ you studying, Twi?" I tried to look over her shoulder but she slammed the book shut.

"You're not allowed to know." She almost snarled and I jumped back a little. I didn't understand what was wrong with my friends, but I felt a little deflated when she got up and walked away.

"Twi? Where are you going we haven't even-" she kept walking despite the fact I was talking, "-opened my basket-" I let my voice trail off, "Twi?"

Now I was really sad. Why wasn't anyone talking to me? Didn't they want to be my friends anymore? Was I annoying or something? I looked down at the grass and Gummy crawled out from beneath the basket, setting off the balloons. Normally that would have cheered me up but the balloons did nothing to brighten my mood.

I waited for my hair and it deflated like the balloons around me were, becoming as straight as the day I'd been born. My friends weren't really my friends anymore. Writing this all down is so hard, but I suppose it has to be done. I don't really have a choice...

Well, Gummy crawled into my lap and I stroked his scales for a while and he kind of purred. He's not a cat, but it was nice to know he was there with me. He turned onto his back and looked up at me as the sun started to set and I forced myself to smile. He knew what was wrong and blinked as he always did, one before the other.

He opened his mouth and made his usual gurgling noise, so I pulled his back against my tummy, holding him up with my forearm, and picked up my basket.

I was going to check on Fluttershy, and see if she wanted to share the cake with me. I made it all by myself and I wanted someone to tell me if I did okay. Applejack was busy with her new boyfriend to care. She was barely at the picnic a few minutes before she vanished again.

Gummy gargled at me again as we slowly made our way to Fluttershy's cottage. I knocked on the door, "Fluttershy?" I heard the door open and Fluttershy peered up at me from beneath her hair.

"Hey, Pinkie-" she cut herself off, "What happened to your hair?" she sounded concerned.

I tried to give her a weak smiled but it didn't turn out properly, "Nothing, it's fine."

"Pinkie...it's like when you thought we were trying to avoid you..." she opened the door and invited me in, "They ignored you too, huh?"

I nodded sadly, suddenly overcome with tears, "Twilight wouldn't even looked at me-" Fluttershy wrapped her arms around me and held me as I started to cry.

"Don't be too upset, Pinkie." She whispered in my ear, "I still want to be friends with you." I sobbed against her shoulder and eventually we sat at the table, eating my cake, "This is delicious, Pinkie." She said quietly and I smiled at her, glad to feel slightly uplifted.


	7. Chapter 1: Generousity Stolen

**Chapter 1**

**Generosity Stolen**

Rarity

Alone at last, that was the only thing I remember thinking to myself. It was a nice day outside but I had an order to finish, and only the finishing touches to go. After that I was free to frolic and hang out with my friends as much as I wanted. I have to admit though, a spa treatment wouldn't have been bad around about then.

I'm standing before the dress, sorting through my gems and trying to decide what size and shape would do the job. I've become really finicky lately, sorting out every gem by size, colour and shape. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. It was really hard to decide what I was going to put on the dress, since it was so delicate.

It was actually supposed to be a surprise for Fluttershy's birthday which was coming up, although I'm not sure she wanted to spend much time around anyone. She seemed to be really down and out lately, which was confusing. She never shouted at anyone.

I stopped for a moment, '_Why __had__ she yelled at Rainbow Dash?_' I hit myself in the forehead with my palm, '_If I'd just stopped working for a moment I would have known by now..._' I huff at myself and wonder if Fluttershy would want to join me at the spa today.

The house was silent, and I actually really appreciated it, despite my yearning to hang out with Fluttershy. But the silence become overbearing and I had to put music on. I still don't know why, normally when Sweetiebelle is out with the Crusaders I enjoy the quiet. But today, I had to listen to music.

I reached over to my gramophone and turned on the record, listening the orchestra as they filled the air and boutique with blissful melodies and harmonies. All my thoughts were quieted, I wasn't so afraid and I didn't feel guilty anymore.

Suddenly all my decisions and wondering about in mental circles seemed to come to an end. I'd figured it out. The blue heart shaped gems and the green leaf shaped ones. Why hadn't I thought of that before? I wanted to get it finished as quickly as possible and reached out to the gems.

I can't really explain what happened next, but something damp and vile was pressed over my face. I couldn't breathe past it, but I told myself not to breathe, just to fight. That is the hardest thing in the world.

The person pressing the cloth to my face jumped onto my back, gripping my hair and jerking my head back, still holding the cloth as I blindly spun and charged, knocking things off my tables and bumping into my mannequin.

I heard it crash to the ground and I squeezed my eyes closed as the fumes stung my eyes. '_Who is doing this? Is this some kind of joke?_'

My lungs were burning for air, and I couldn't stand up. They were too heavy on my back and my knees failed me, "That's it, Rarity..." a voice cooed in my ears as they stood up behind me, "Breathe in for me..."

I tried to shake my head, but my head was starting to pound, and I gasped. I told myself not to breathe it in a second time and held my breath, despite the blurriness around my vision. I opened my eyes and looked up, '_I know them..._' I couldn't really think or see straight, '_Who...I know who..._'

The room was darker than I remembered it being, "Rarity, I know you're sleepy." The voice cooed again, "Just another lungful." They jerked hard.

I spluttered as the air in my lungs burnt worse than last time and my body re-filled my lungs against my will. '_How did this person know me? I know them..._'

My hands clung at the arm pressing the cloth to my face, but I was losing sight. Where were they going to take me? Who were they? I coughed weakly into the cloth and gasped again, this time filling my lungs with the chemical.

I didn't want to, but I sank and they caught me, pulling the cloth away from my face, "Sleep tight, Rarity." They whispered, brushing a piece of hair from my eyes, "You'll wake up soon enough..."

The world faded away from me and I remembered a laugh, that seemed to echo in my head like I was buried deep in a cavern. '_Who were they? How did they know who I was?_' the world abandoned me, '_Someone...help...me..._'

Fluttershy

"Are you sure about this, Angel?" I whisper to my white bunny on my shoulder, "It doesn't look like she's home..."

He tugged gently on my pink hair and urged me forward. I held his eyes for a moment and frowned, but he stroked my cheek, "C'mon, Fluttershy. Be strong..."

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing out and opening my eyes. I don't know why, but that always seemed to work. I straightened and walked up to the front door. I pushed the door open, surprised that it was already partly ajar.

"Angel?" I whispered, suddenly afraid, "Something's wrong..."

Angel pressed up against me and nodded in agreement, "She never leaves that open, does she?"

I shook my head and stepped in, "Hello?" I called, looking around the dimly lit entrance, "Rarity?" I didn't hear anything and pressed in further, heading for the staircase and made my way up slowly, "Angel?"

I froze and stared at a dark puddle on the floor. Angel jumped down from my shoulder and pressed his paw in it, before sniffing the substance, "Oh god, oh god, get out of here!"

I swept the frightened bunny into my arms and held him tight, "Angel, we need to find Rarity..." I tried to be firm and strong, but Angel was terrified, "What was it anyway?"

Angel buried himself beneath my pale yellow sweater, "Blood..."

I froze for a moment, unsure if I wanted to continue or not. If Rarity was in trouble I wanted to help, but what if she wasn't here? I shook my head firmly, "We have to see if she's okay." I said more to myself than to Angel, "Whether she snubbed us or not."

Angel seemed to agree with me and poked his head out of the neck of sweater. I was glad he was there to be honest, it was far more comforting to have him there with me. He was silent as we climbed the stairs together and I felt like I should have been holding something in my hands.

"Rarity?" I called but the house was silent. I made it to the landing and coaxed Angel into my hands. He looked up at me, uncertain, but decided to do as I asked, "What's up, Fluttershy?"

"Something is very, very, wrong, Angel." I whispered, "Can you see anyone in the room?"

We crouched beside her Idea's Room door and heard nothing. Angel looked at me impatiently, "I can't see anything at all. I'm a rabbit."

I smirked patiently at him, "Alright then, wait here." I whispered and placed him down on the floor. He looked up at me as I edged to the door, feeling braver than I had in a long time.

"Fluttershy?" I jumped at Angel's voice, "Be careful." He said and I smiled at him.

"Thanks, Angel Bunny." I gave him a quick kiss and slunk into the room. I didn't hear anything, but I saw what looked like Rarity on the floor, "Rarity?" I whispered, carefully edging over to her.

She didn't seem to move and I gently touched her. She was as cold as stone and I turned her toward me. I almost yelped in shock when I saw she had no face and ran my hand over the surface shakily. It took me a moment to realise that what I was touching was a mannequin and I sighed a breath of relief.

"Angel?" he peered through the door, "Try and find me a tinderbox."

He saluted me and disappeared to the kitchen as I straightened and tried to dodge debris. Angel returned with the tinderbox and I lit a candle beside me. It was a mannequin I was touching, with a wig of Rarity's hair.

I was relieved for a little while, before I realised that Rarity was still missing. I looked around carefully and picked up the candle, "She's not here, Angel." I tried to remain as composed as possible as we edged down the stairs. The place was eerily quiet, and the front door suddenly swung open.

I cried out in shock as Sweetiebelle crashed in, "Sis! Sis?!"

"Sweetiebelle?" I raised the candle and the little filly walked over to me, "Sweetiebelle, I need you to come with me."

"Where are we going?" she asked, taking my hand.

I smiled down at her gently, "We're going to Twilight's. C'mon, let's go." Angel leapt onto my shoulder as I stepped out into the sun. Suddenly the weight of everything seemed to hit me.

I fell onto one knee and coughed weakly, "Fluttershy?" Sweetiebelle squeezed my hand, "Fluttershy, are you okay?"

I nodded at her, '_I have to be strong for her..._' I told myself, forcing myself onto my feet again.

"It's alright, Fluttershy." Angel soothed me, "It's alright."

Sweetiebelle looked at Angel funny when he'd spoken to me. I was one of few ponies who could speak to animals, and even less of them are Pegasus. I stumbled forward, getting a feeling of great urgency as I stormed to Twilight's library.

I don't understand why it was so urgent, like I would catch Twilight doing something she shouldn't have been, but Sweetiebelle couldn't keep up, "Ow, Fluttershy, slow down."

I didn't have the patience and flicked my wings. She stared up at me as I turned around and picked her up, holding her beneath my forearm.

"Fluttershy? Fluttershy?!"

I kicked off the ground and the additional weight sent me off-balance for a moment, but I was soon shooting through the air towards Twilight's home.

Sweetiebelle shrieks for most of our flight and Angel clings to my hair, but I stop just short of the door. Sweetiebelle hoots, "Wow, Fluttershy! That was almost like Rainbow Dash flying!"

I drop the filly to her feet and knock hard on the door. There's no answer for a moment, "Oh, come, on!" I groan, knocking harder as I try to untangle Angel from my hair with one hand.

The door opens and Twilight looks at me confused, "Fluttershy? Is everything okay?"

"Rarity's gone." I blurt out, forgetting that Sweetiebelle might not have taken the news well, "She's not at the boutique and the place is a mess. There's blood on the staircase!"

Twilight looked concerned and nervous, ushering us both into her home. Sweetiebelle is staring up at me as I start to shake, "Fluttershy? Take a seat." Twilight coos I sit, clinging to Angel, "What's happened?"

"I went to visit Rarity, and see if she wanted to go to the spa with me today, like we used do." I try to slow down my breathing and prevent a panic attack, "The door was a little open so I went inside and she didn't reply when I called her." Angel reached up and stroked my cheek, which calmed me down a little, "Angel and I went up the stairs and found blood, and her bedroom door was a little open."

Sweetiebelle sat at my feet, clinging to my leg, "Alright, Fluttershy."

"I went in and saw a mannequin that I thought was her, but it wasn't, and she wasn't anywhere. I was going down the stairs when Sweetiebelle ran into me and I decided to take her here." I rattle the rest of quickly because I had a feeling that Twilight had wanted me to stop talking.

"Alright, Fluttershy, just breathe. Did you want some tea or something? I'll explain everything."

I shook my head, "No, just explain it. I need to go so Pinkie soon anyway."

Twilight sighed, "Well, I didn't want to tell you guys, and Rarity thought it would be best if you didn't know, but she was invited to live in Canterlotte by Hoity Toity." Twilight looked nervous, but I figured that was because Sweetiebelle and I were really shaken up, "She didn't want anyone else to get upset that she was leaving, so she just left and told me, in case someone went looking for her."

'_Why didn't she say goodbye?_' I didn't realised I'd said it aloud until Twilight answered.

"She didn't want anyone trying to hold her back." Twilight glanced at Sweetiebelle and flinched. Sweetiebelle was crying silently at my feet and I frowned, "I'm sorry..."

"I'll take care of her...I'm sure it'll be nice being surrounded by the meadow critters." I pulled her up onto my lap, "Thanks, Twilight." I tried not to sound as nervous and upset as I did, but I couldn't help it.

Twilight showed us out as I held Sweetiebelle in my arms. She sobbed quietly against my neck as I walked, Angel resting on my opposite shoulder. Poor Sweetiebelle. Her sister wasn't the best sister in the world, but Sweetiebelle tried to be, didn't she? And then Rarity just gets up and leaves?

I was suspicious of the whole thing, but I didn't want to cause anymore stress to Sweetiebelle than I had to. The whole boutique was suspicious. Rarity never kept any liquid like blood in her home, and she never dressed mannequins with wigs of her own hair. Rarity was my best friend. I would have known if she did. The whole thing was suspicious to me, but I didn't want to hurt Sweetiebelle.

I figured a visit to Pinkie Pie might put her in better spirits and we approached SugarCube Corners, Angel suddenly whispered in my ear, "Pinkie might not be the best choice right now."

I looked over at him, "Angel, Sweetiebelle needs someone to hold onto, besides me. Give her a firm base of friends." Angel shrugged and resumed his place on my shoulder as Sweetiebelle's sobs relaxed into shuddering breaths.

I pressed through the front door and greeted Mrs. Cake with a weary smile before climbing the stairs to Pinkie's room. I nodded at Angel and he thumped his leg for me.

"Thanks." I whispered as the door opened slowly and Pinkie poked her head out.

"Hey, Fluttershy. And Sweetiebelle." Her crystal blue eyes met mine and I noticed her hair hadn't reverted.

"Hey, can we come in? I have some really bad news." Pinkie looked somber as it was but let us all in, closing the door behind me.

When I told Pinkie about it she shared my suspicions. Sweetiebelle was playing with Gummy and Angel nearby as we talked, "I just don't get it. It's not like Rarity to do that."

I nodded quietly, sipping my tea, "And she wouldn't have left without saying goodbye to Sweetiebelle at least." I added softly, feeling the familiar fear of people return.

"I know." Pinkie smiled at Sweetiebelle as she played with the toothless gator and white bunny, "She looks happy for now."

"The sugar." I reminded her, taking a bite of cake, "But these are the best cakes in the world, I will admit." I smirked and Pinkie grinned.

"You really mean that?" she straightened and I looked at her playfully.

"Of course." I grinned, "Let me guess who made it."

She giggled and I pointed at her. She nodded excitedly and clapped, "Yes! I made it! Is it getting better?!"

"Pinkie, they're perfect." I smiled and she grinned even brighter. At least Pinkie was happy. Sweetiebelle giggled and I heard two familiar voices of fillies. Scootaloo and Applebloom crashed into the room, hugging their best friend.

I smiled sadly at them and sipped my tea again, "Remember when we were like that?" I whispered to Pinkie, who nodded morosely.

"I wish we could go back to that." She whispered back.

"Me too. By the way, your hair..."

"I know." Pinkie ran her fingers through it and shrugged, "I kinda like it like this." She said, "You know?"

I shrugged, "It looks nice, I'll admit that."

Scootaloo and Applebloom both raced over to me and hugged me, "Are you okay, Fluttershy?"

"You weren't scared, were you?"

"It was brave of you to go in the dark by yourself!"

I pulled away and smiled at them, "I'm okay. You guys want some cake?"

I tried to ignore the sadness in Sweetiebelle's eyes, but we understood each other. We stayed at Pinkie's place for most of the afternoon until the sun set and the other fillies had already run home. I swept the sleeping Sweetiebelle and Angel into my arms.

"Thanks for having us, Pinkie." I smirked at her, then gently kissed her cheek, "It means a lot to me."

Pinkie smirked at me, "Me too." She reached for the door, "I'll try to be happier for you."

I shook my head, "No need, Pinkie." I stepped out the door, "I'll be your friend no matter what."

Her blue eyes glittered at me and she wrapped her arms around my neck, "Thanks, Fluttershy." She sobbed softly, "That means so much to me."

She had no idea how much it meant to me to see her smile.

Applejack

"You don't _want _to see me anymore?! Is that it?!"

I couldn't help but stare at Bookworm as he rampaged. He was so angry all the time, I felt like I was doing something wrong, "No, baby, I do!"

"Then why is it always about Applebuck with you?!" he gripped the back a chair and didn't look at me as I sat on the sofa, attempting to be civilised.

"Because it's important." I repeated, "My family mean tha world ta me and I gotta make sure they've got everythin' harvested for tha winter."

He seemed to growl and tossed the chair, sending it through a window, "So I'm not important?!" he screamed and I'd had enough.

I stood up and breathed in and out to prepare myself, "Not everything is about you here, Bookworm. I have a life I gotta lead and a family I gotta help. I am not about to throw that all away for some happy, city life boy, who thinks nothing of nobody but himself!" I turned to the door, "Until you learn how to look after the people you love, don't come looking for me!" I slammed it shut behind me, storming out of his house and onto the street.

How dare he treat me like I was just a simple girl. What had happened to my romantic, sweet, Bookworm? The one who wasn't so caught up in his studies, or so selfish to think I was at his beck and call. No siree, that was not the kind of person I was raised to be.

I hadn't noticed how late it was when I'd left Bookworm's home, but I didn't look back. He was there, staring out his house and watching me leave, I knew it, but I would not look back at him and give him the satisfaction of knowing I was hurt.

Really hurt. Bookworm had changed so much in the last few weeks, more than I thought a pony could. It had started in little bits, guilt and manipulation at first. Then it was accusations, jealousy, paranoia even. I understood his fears, I was just as insecure, but when he started trying to tell me how to live my life and calling me names? I would have none of that.

I don't suppose he expected me to be so damn stubborn. I've been told by a lot of people that I can be stubborn as a mule. And I'm a little proud of that now. I never met any of Bookworm's ex-girlfriends and I knew why now.

The black eye was the thing a woman never wanted to admit her lover did. I was just glad we hadn't been together for as long as I'd hoped for. He claimed to love me.

How can you love someone, and hurt them at the same time? And it wasn't the accidental hurt, like you make a mistake and your partner to keeps it to themselves even though it's eating them up inside. It was malicious hurt.

I thought he was a decent fella, to be honest, and I suppose I made a huge mistake trying to tell myself that. But now, the pain was finally kicking in. God, it hurts so bad. It felt like he was ripping my heart out, one little bit at a time, and laughing in my face about it, although I doubted he was.

He probably expected me to turn back and ask him to take me back, but that was _not_ going to happen. I am better than grovelling.

It's getting dark by now, and I'm a little bit cold. I'd spent a lot longer at Bookworm's home than I thought. I look up at a familiar home and smile, "Hey! RainbowDash!" a rainbow striped head pokes itself over the edge, "Got a minute ta talk?"

I just wanted her to listen to be honest.

"Nope!" she called back, shattering my heart into a million pieces, "I'm sorry, but I gotta a lot of practice to do!" she was lounging above me, "I might not be free for another three...three and half weeks!"

That did it for me. I knew she was being nasty and spiteful. But I couldn't stop the tears. Nor did I really want to. Maybe once I started I'd felt a little better, and the running, that had helped a little too. I don't remember when I started running to be honest, but I was running, and I felt free. Escaping my pains and anger...the running helped.

The front door of the farm came faster than I expected. '_Are they gonna reject me? I haven't been home in days...he wouldn't let me leave!_'

I knocked hard and the door swung open. Big Mac glowered down at me, "Applejack, don't you know-" he lifted a lamp and illuminated the dark bruise around my eye. His face fell, "Oh, Applejack..." he ushered me inside and I had no doubt I looked more upset than when Caramel Apple loses the Grass Seeds.

"He...I'm sorry..." was all I wanted to say, was all I could say. He wrapped his big strong arms around me and I wrapped mine around him. He had wanted to shout at me, make me feel bad too, but he was my big brother. He knew when enough was enough.

"Applejack?" came the call from Applebloom, "Applejack! You're home!" she wrapped her arms around my legs and held me tight, "I'm so glad you're home." She started crying too and I didn't understand why.

"Sugahcube? What's the matter?" I knelt by her and Big Mac pulled me back up.

"First of all, we gotta talk about what happened to you." He swept Applebloom into his arms, "We need to hear your story before you hear the news."

Granny was waiting for us in the living room, sitting by the fire, and I could tell by the look on her face she was ready to spit at me too. One look at the bruise and all her inner fire was gone too. I thought my family would reject me for the time I spent away, but I was wrong, again. Like when I discovered my Cutie Mark...

"Applejack, what happened?" Granny asked and I couldn't help but tell them everything.


	8. Chapter 2: Honesty Missing

**Chapter 2**

**Honesty Missing**

Dearest Readers,

I am afraid that this chapter does contain imagery of a graphic nature. Please, be warned about reading further. This chapter contains vivid descriptions of violence.

Read at your own discretion,

Princess Luna

Pinkie Pie

I don't know why I avoided them for so long. Had I known what was to happen I would have spent as much time with them as possible. I suppose I was afraid, of being rejected. My hair was still as straight as ever, and I wasn't really sure why. I was happy, or relatively happy, to still have Fluttershy at my side. She meant so much to me and Sweetiebelle was doing her absolute best to put on a strong face.

But I knew she was hurting inside. Her eyes told me everything. One night I allowed her sleep at my home, since Fluttershy had to visit Zecora to help heal a wounded meadow critter and wasn't able to keep an eye on her for the night. Fluttershy keeps getting braver...

Sweetiebelle had been a gem on her own, wanting to help in anyway she could. Since Rarity disappeared, she hasn't been as enthusiastic about her Cutie Mark, but I caught her glancing at her flank once or twice. Poor thing.

I understood her concern. No one wants to graduate school and be without a Cutie Mark. It's your defining feature. But sometimes it takes something big, like a Sonic Rainboom, for your destiny to become apparent.

She was actually more helpful that Rarity had ever made her out to be. Sweetiebelle may have been a pain in the boutique, but she was more than helpful in the kitchen. I'd decided to bake a cake for Applejack that night, hoping she would enjoy it. As Fluttershy said, they were perfect, but I wanted Applejack's opinion too.

Sweetiebelle took every order with a grin and a salute, rushing about the kitchen, diving into the pantry and reaching into the fridge to get me all my ingredients. She was wonderful. She learned by watching me as I stirred the cake mixture and she started her own batch. I was happy to let her bake her own cake.

I remember glancing over at her, looking at the deep concentration in her eyes, little tongue poking out from between her lips as she did her best to get the mixture as smooth as possible. I smiled at her then.

When our cakes were baked, and our dinner had settled, I'd read her a bedtime story. She was used to lullabies, but she enjoyed the story more. Fluttershy was either singing or reading to her, I wasn't sure which, but Sweetiebelle fell asleep quickly.

She didn't stay asleep long. No wonder Fluttershy didn't want her sleeping alone. She woke up a few hours later, crying and inconsolable. No matter what I told her she wouldn't stop crying and clung to me however she could. She told me she'd dreamed of Rarity, and the things she'd seen made me want to cry.

I held her tight, lying in my bed in our pyjamas until we fell asleep. This time she seemed to sleep all night, but I couldn't be certain. I'd slept all night, despite my bad dreams.

I woke up that morning to find Sweetiebelle quietly colouring in on the floor. Like a true chef, she was trying to decide the colouring of her icing and decorations. I just wanted to watch her, not disturbing her, but she seemed to sense I was awake.

"Hey, Pinkie." She grinned at me and showed me her drawings, "Which one do you like better?"

I smiled at her, slowly climbing out of my warm bed and stretching. I glanced at them like I hadn't noticed them earlier and pointed at one. It was white with candy pink and lavender stripes, "That one."

She looked at me funny, "Why?"

"Cause it's the same colour as you!" I swept her up into my arms and swung her around, before finally letting her twist around for a hug. I could tell by how tight she held me that she hadn't slept very well despite my presence.

"Thanks, Pinkie." She whispered, "You're the best friend ever."

I held her tight, "I try to be." She pressed her face against my neck and sighed, "Did you have another nightmare last night?"

She nodded and I squeezed her, "It wasn't about Rarity though." She whispered, "It wasn't about anyone. It was dark and I was alone and scared." She was trying to fight tears, "But I could feel someone beside me and I felt better."

I smiled and started to walk downstairs, "I'm glad to hear that, Belle." She giggled and pulled closer, "I'm going to show you how to make and colour icing, and then I'm going to get changed, how's that sound?"

She pulled her face from my shoulder and nodded at me, "It's sounds awesome."

We reached the kitchen and greeted Mr and Mrs Cake as they went about their business. Sweetiebelle seemed to cheer up when she saw the Cake's.

"Pinkie Pie's going to show me how to make icing!" she bounded into the kitchen ahead of me after Mr Cake.

Mrs Cake noticed my attire and smirked at me, "Dearie?" she called to Sweetiebelle, "How about _we_ show you while Pinkie goes and changes?"

I smirked at the hint and Sweetiebelle poked her head out the kitchen door, "Are you sure Pinkie won't mind?"

I smiled brightly at her, "I won't mind. I'll be down again soon, I promise."

She smiled again and nodded, while I went back upstairs. Mrs Cake stopped me halfway, "Pinkie?" I glanced down at her, "Are you feeling alright?"

I smiled at her, "Yes, Mrs Cake. Having Sweetiebelle over last night has certainly helped." I took her flour covered hand and squeezed it, "And it's touching that you're concerned, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

Mrs Cake smiled at me, but I could see the uncertainty in her eyes, "Having a friend leave like that can be a little heartbreaking, I can't imagine how Sweetiebelle feels." She frowned and we both looked to the kitchen, where we heard her laughter.

"Me neither." I sighed, "She had nightmares last night. Two. One about Rarity and the other about herself. I'm just glad Fluttershy's taking care of her. She fantastic with kids, especially the Cutie Mark Crusaders."

Mrs Cake nodded in agreement, "Yes, I am glad that it was Fluttershy who volunteered." She sighed and let go of my hand, "I'll let you go get changed now, I'll see you in a jiffy."

I smiled at her and nodded, "Yep." Then bounded up the stairs as fast as I could.

I didn't blame Mrs Cake for wanting to know if I was okay, but the thought of having to talk about it made me nauseous. It was hard enough, dodging the subject with Sweetiebelle since she obviously didn't want to talk about it, but having to talk about it to someone else...it was so hard.

I closed my bedroom door and burst into tears. I don't know if it was the stress of putting on a strong face or the care my friends were putting towards me, or concern for Sweetiebelle, but it was becoming too much. I cried for a while, even when Gummy came over and curled up beside me, then I couldn't do it anymore.

"Enough's enough, Pinkie Pie." I told myself, standing and moving to my wardrobe, "Get dressed and be strong for Sweetiebelle."

When I went back downstairs, I looked somewhat composed. Gummy joined me, sitting on my head as my strange little alligator did and Mrs Cake almost had a heart attack when she saw him, "Gummy!" he gurgled at her, "You know better than to be in here!"

He jumped from my head and waddled away, chasing after a balloon I left inflated for him. He loved trying to pop them with his gums, but it never worked. I turned to Mrs Cake and we all laughed about it, before setting into work.

Something about working seemed to relax everyone, as though having something stopped us from having to talk. I showed Sweetiebelle how to colour the icing and spread it and let her choose her own decorations.

She was delighted as she covered it in glitter and stars, and I was surprised to see her take a serious interest and concentration in what she did. Most of the other fillies I'd tried to teach ended up covering it in everything they could.

I busily decorated mine as the Cake's went out to deliver their goods, leaving Sweetiebelle and I alone. We were quiet for a moment, and Sweetiebelle stopped. She watched me, and surprised me with her question, "Pinkie? Do you miss Rarity?"

I froze and looked up at her, "Of course, I do, Belle." I frowned at her, "Why do you ask?"

"Cause no one seems to be upset that she's gone." She stared at her cake, and I realised the frosting said '_Welcome home, Rarity._' I fought tears at the sight of that.

"Sweetiebelle." I cooed and knelt before her, "We're all upset she's gone." I held both her flour covered hands in mine, "But we just want to be strong for you." I stroked her chin, smearing it in flour, "We know it's tough on you, especially because you were her sister, but we want you to remember that you have other sisters here in PonyVille." She looked at up at me, tears in her eyes, "Me and Fluttershy, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, even Twilight." I squeezed her hands, "We all miss her and we're all upset she left without saying goodbye, but it's you we're worried about."

She frowned and tried to stop her tears, lowering her head, "I...I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, Sweetiebelle." I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her close, "You haven't done anything wrong. You're under a lot of stress right now, I understand." I stroked her hair, "Is there something you want to talk about?" I pulled away and met her eyes, "I'll be honest about it, no lies and I won't sugarcoat it."

She nodded and wiped her eyes, "Rarity didn't leave, did she? She was taken away..."

I stared at her, "Sweetiebelle, we were told she left. Why do you think she was taken away?"

"Cause of the blood and the wig. You know Rarity. She never had any red dyes cause she was scared she'd spill it and make someone think it was blood. And she never had any wigs, even of her own hair, because she didn't want someone taking her ideas."

I bit my lip and tried to fight my own tears. She was so much more than Rarity had ever known, "Sweetiebelle, we understand those things, and we think it was odd too. But isn't it better to think she left in a hurry, rather than thinking she got hurt? You're only a little filly-"

Sweetiebelle's tears fell, "But I have to be big filly now...cause she's gone..."

I gasped softly, "Oh, Sweetiebelle..." I wrapped her in my arms, "You don't have to be a big filly just because she's gone." I whispered, letting her cry against me, "You're still only a kid, be a kid." She clung to my shirt, "No one is going to be upset at you about that, no matter what reason."

I swept her up into my arms and held her close, then sat her on the bench, "Do you-" she sniffed as she controlled her tears, "-do you think she'll come back?"

I looked up at her and sighed, "Honestly, Sweetiebelle?" she nodded at me and I took a deep breath, "I wish I could tell you. I don't know myself." She frowned, "Deep down, I really wish she's okay, having fun in Canterlotte with Hoity Toity and all his minions," she giggled at the thought of minions, "But I don't even know if she's there." Her laughter died, "I'm sorry, Sweetiebelle, I don't know if she'll come back. But I sure hope she does."

Sweetiebelle sighed, "The truth hurts sometimes."

"Yeah, it does." I put the last touches on my cake as Sweetiebelle watched.

"Pinkie?"

"Yeah?" I was too distracted to notice she was staring at her cake.

"Do you think my cake is stupid?" I looked up at her, "How do I know she's even going to come home? She isn't! I just thought if I made it she would walk in the door and say it was a big joke and-" she suddenly tossed it across the room, and burst into tears.

"Sweetiebelle!?" I glanced up at Fluttershy, who'd barely dodged the cake, "Sweetiebelle, you're cake wasn't stupid." I pulled her into my arms again, "No cake is ever stupid." She sobbed against me, "I know you miss her, and it's hard to understand everything that's going on-"

"I just want her to come home!" she cried, "I just want her to come home..."

Fluttershy stepped in for me, "Hey, Sweetiebelle, come here." She said softly, her voice far more soothing to the filly than my own. She even soothed me a little. Sweetiebelle wrapped herself around Fluttershy, "Don't be sad, Rarity is going to be okay." She picked up the little filly, who buried her face in Fluttershy's neck, "And we're going to take care of you, even if she doesn't come back, so don't you worry about that."

"I...I just didn't want to have to live in the boutique all by myself and-" I stared at her as she admitted her real fear and Fluttershy smiled patiently at me. She carefully lifted herself onto the bench with her wings and managed to disturb nothing as she drifted down. I still don't understand how she does that.

"Sweetiebelle, don't be scared anymore." She added as I started to box my cake for Applejack, "Pinkie and I will be your big sisters, even though we'll be never replace Rarity, we'll try to be good big sisters."

Sweetiebelle looked between us, "You won't try and replace her?"

"No one can." I laughed lightly, "Rarity was one of a kind, just like you." I pinched her cheek lightly, "But we know you're lonely."

Sweetiebelle nodded and Fluttershy smiled at me. For some reason, seeing her smile made me feel like I'd said the right thing. She glanced over at the cake I was boxing and tilted her head, "What's that for, Pinkie Pie?"

"I'm taking a cake over to Applejack's. I was hoping to have left a while ago-"

"I didn't mean to be late-"

"No, Fluttershy, it's fine. I...had to be alone upstairs for a while. That's why I'm running late."

"You were crying." Sweetiebelle spoke up, and I just stared at her, "You're eyes were all red." She frowned, "You miss her, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy nodded, "But I don't like crying in front of people who are important to me." She said softly. But I heard the lump of tears in her throat and smiled gently at her.

"You know, I think we're all going to be okay." Sweetiebelle said, "If we stay together."

Fluttershy and I nodded, "We sure are."

Applejack

I don't know if there's a saying for this kind of thing, but working sure is a great distraction. I don't even need to think about what I'm doing, I just do it. It's nice, having that kind of routine. To be completely and totally honest, despite what Bookworm did to me those few weeks back, I still missed him. He had made me feel special for a while and I missed that feeling. Knowing that he cared for me in a way no one else did. But I hate thinking about it, cause it brought up pain in my chest that I could only describe as a broken heart.

Somewhere during the day, I'd worked my way into the apple cellar, and I was being a little more finicky than usual. I'm normally a lot more practical when it comes to my work, finding the most sensible things to do rather than the neatest or what not, but for some reason I was caught up in getting the cellar organised.

I have to admit, I was pushing myself a little harder than usual and the ache in my legs was a testament to that, but I had to keep working. It was kinda cozy in the cellar after a while, as I cleaned and whistled, until I found evidence of a stay that Bookworm and I had had in there.

'_Applejack, I love you...'_

Tears sprang into my eyes faster than lightning and I reeled back a little bit. His sweater was buried under some hay, and I found it odd that he'd never mentioned it. Without a thought I picked it up and tossed it in a barrel.

'_You love this sweater, huh?_'

I couldn't stand this, why was I thinking about him so much? And why did my heart hurt so bad? He had been so nasty to me, he'd even punched me! Why did I miss him?

I hear a loud bang and the cellar seems to get darker all of a sudden. I turn to the door and run to it, '_Why the hell did it close?_' I try to push it open but it doesn't budge, doing nothing but groaning in protest.

'_Maybe someone closed it by accident?_´ the long walk to the cellar stairs made me a little tired and I pounded hard on the door, "Hello?! Applebloom?! Big Mac?!" when I received no answer, I kept hitting it, losing myself more and more in a panic.

Before I knew it, I was curled on the stairs, crying and whimpering. Somehow I'd lost myself and opened my eyes to the dim cellar. Some of the lanterns had gone out, and I did my best not to panic again.

I hit the door a few more times, trying to remember if anyone else would happen to wander by. Big Mac was out in the fields, harvesting the apples as he usually did, although the bumper crop was almost gone now. Applebloom had gone out with Scootaloo to find Sweetiebelle, although I wasn't sure how well their crusading would go. And poor old Granny Smith was still in the house, sitting by the fire having her afternoon nap.

Why couldn't anyone hear me?

I hear heavy breathing ahead of me and look around in the dim light, "Hello?" I call, edging down the stairs slowly, "Is anyone there?"

I didn't expect a reply, but I got one that chilled me to the bone, "Yes...Applejack..."

The voice was familiar but wheezy, and I edged back a little, "Wh-who are you?"

The voice laughed at me and I tried to edge around them. If they were going to attack, I didn't want the stairs at my back, "You know me very, _very_ well."

Again the voice was cryptic. When I edged around her and she turned to face me I saw a black mask, with two bright purple eyes. They were familiar, as was the horn and I narrowed my eyes, "Then tell me who ya are." I said again, "If this is a prank, it t'ain't funny."

Again, the person laughed and shook their head, "Oh, Applejack...this is _not_ a prank."

I blinked, or I think I did, because they were on top of me and reaching for rope, "Hey! What do ya think ya'll are doin'?!" I kicked her off me and pushed her aside, forcing myself to my feet.

"Oh, it didn't have to be this way, Applejack..." they left the rope lying on the cellar floor, "But you always have to do things the hard way, don't you?"

As I stared at them, they leapt at me, swinging a fist. The hit was weak and barely hurt at all, but I swung to draw blood. I was in no mood for any of this, "If Book worm sent you-" I grappled them to the ground, knocking a barrel over nearby, "-he ain't havin' me back!"

Suddenly, the barrel was picked up and thrown at me, "I didn't want to do this, Applejack." I threw the barrel away and stood, glaring at them, "But since you have an advantage," she used their magic to call the rope, "Then I might as well use mine."

I huffed angrily and ran at her, preparing for a short and quick fight, but it didn't take long for the cellar to attack me. I didn't know what was coming at me, but it hit me, over and over and over until I fell to one knee.

It seemed that the attack ceased for a moment until I was forced down in the dirt, my hands seized behind my back and something was wrapping around them tight.

?

'_Quickly, QUICKLY_!' the voice screamed, '_Get her restrained!'_

I pulled away and looked down as Applejack writhed beneath me. I laughed softly as she kicked herself onto her back, trying to drag herself away. There was no way she was escaping that knot, not without a knife. Her apple green eyes were wide now, full of fear and I knew I'd finally gotten to her. She was mine.

"Now, Applejack, we can still do this the easy way-"

She screamed, and I tossed a barrel into the side of her head with my magic. She was dazed and moaned softly, lying limp on the cellar floor.

"But you don't like the easy way, do you?" She looked up at me for a moment, then coughed weakly and lay still again. I could imagine her head was spinning and I smirked down at her, "No, you don't."

I called on more rope, quickly binding her ankles and glanced over at a sweater I recognized. I bent and picked it up, wondering where it came from and rubbed my thumb over the soft fabric.

"Mmm. Bookworm's sweater, huh?" I walked around her, "Is it hard for you to let him go?"

She nodded, still desperately trying to wriggle free of the rope she would never escape.

"But he treated you so badly..." I knelt beside her head, "Why would you want him back?"

She tried to turn her face away from me, but I gripped it tight in my hands and forced her to look up at me, "I don't." She wheezed and I laughed.

"Oh, Applejack, sometimes your honesty is your undoing." Her eyes widened as I forced it over her shoulders and left her wearing it, "How does that feel, Applejack?" she went silent, her eyes closed and face turned to the ceiling, "How does it feel to have him wrapped around you again?"

I was looking for a fabric to gag the stubborn bitch with and I found a canvas bag, with tape nearby. I didn't know who I was supposed to thank, but I would in the end.

"Whoever you are-" her voice broke as she fought tears, "Whoever you are, I'll make you _pay_!" she screamed as I knelt beside her again.

"Oh, Applejack." I pulled on the tape, relishing the rough noise it made. I glanced down at her and absorbed the look of fear and panic in her eyes, "You should really learn to be quiet sometimes." I shoved it over her lips and wrapped it around her head, taping her hair to the back of her head, "Maybe it would be easier for people to be around you then."

'_Good! Good...twist her mind...'_ I smirked and jerked on some of her hair.

Her cry of pain was all I needed to know it wouldn't budge, and her muffled attempts at insults were further proof.

"Now, now Applejack. Let's be a polite guest." I shoved the canvas bag over her head and pulled on the drawstring, "Or I'm going to have to turn into a rather _nasty_ host."

Pinkie Pie

I had a really bad feeling about Sweet Apple Acres, despite all my effort for the cake. My Pinkie Sense has been a little out of wack lately, but this told me that something really bad was happening. I ran as hard as I could to the farm, the cake on in my arms, and found Big Mac on his way to the cellar, "Big Mac!" I called, and he paused, lowering his bucket to the ground, "Where's Applejack?"

He smirked at me patiently and pointed to the cellar, "She's in the cellar. Walk with me."

I panted beside him as we calmly made our way to the cellar. The door was closed and I gasped softly, "That's...are you sure she's in there?"

Big Mac furrowed his brow and left the buckets beside the cellar door, "Eyup." He pulled up on the bar that locked it and place it beside the door. I couldn't wait. I left my cake where it was and launched myself inside, "Pinkie!" he called as I trotted down the stairs as fast as I could.

The cellar was empty and pitch black, and when I reached the cellar floor I looked around, "Applejack?" I called, stepping slowly into the darkness. Big Mac started to climb down behind me and I could feel fear prickling at the base of my spine. Sweat formed on my forehead and I started to shake, "Applejack?" my voice cracked and I stepped forward.

Something crunched under my shoes and I withdrew for a moment, glancing down at the slivers of light. Big Mac's brow was still furrowed and I saw him venture ahead of me, "Wh-what are you doing?" a light flickered to life before entering a lantern and illuminating part of the space.

I saw I was standing on broken glass and leapt back onto the stairs. I pressed my hand onto the stone step and felt something wet beneath my hand. Big Mac was staring at me as I lifted my hand to my face. It was bright crimson and glistening.

All I can remember after that is shrieking, letting the sorrow and fear out of my soul through that one noise.

Rainbow Dash

"Rainbow Dash!" I heard a panicked cry beneath me, and I glanced down to see little Scootaloo, waving her arms at me. I rolled my eyes and started my slow descent.

'_What does she want now?_' I remember asking myself as I touched the ground. She threw her arms around my waist and started crying, and I stared down at her, "Hey, squirt, what's the matter?"

Scootaloo cried for a moment longer before raising her head to me and screaming, "Applejack's gone!"

I froze, "Wait, what? Gone as in what?" I knelt and gripped her by the shoulders. Scootaloo sobbed some more and I shook her, "_Scootaloo_?! Gone as in what!?"

She gathered herself together and wiped her eyes, "She's missing, Rainbow Dash." She snivelled, "I don't know where she went, but Pinkie is all shook up and Big Mac is on his way to Bookworm's and everyone is really really upset-"

I broke away from her, turning to the sky. I ignored her cries as I shot straight to my home and threw myself into the plush cloud. How could this have happened? I didn't really want her to go away. I loved her, why was I such a bitch?!


	9. Chapter 3: Loyalty Vanished

**Chapter 3**

**Loyalty Vanished**

Twilight Sparkle

'The human mind was not designed to withstand emotional and physical torment for extended periods of time...' my eyes scanned the pages like a feverish child watching hallucinations and I tried to write as many notes down as I could. I was so happy I'd found this book, and it's insights were more than intriguing.

"Heey...Twilight." I heard a cautious call from my bedroom door and lowered my notebook, glancing across at him, "How are you?"

I try to smile at him but I was worried it came out weak, "I'm fine, Spike." The truth was that I was exhausted and wanted to sleep for eternity.

'_Not yet...'_ I sighed and looked away from Spike, continuing my reading, '_Just a little more._'

'Along with this, over 60 hours of sleep can cause a temporary psychosis, leading to hallucinations and 'insane' behaviour...'

"Twilight?" Spike was being unusually talkative.

"Yeah?" I tried to write notes down as he talked.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he wrung his hands at the doorway, "You've been reading that book an awful lot lately, and you haven't spoken to anyone since Rarity went missing..."

I had to close my eyes for a moment, "Spike, I don't want to talk about it." I said quietly, closing the door with my magic.

He waddled off, further into the library to clean while I turned back to my book, slowly eyeing the door.

'_Ignore him. He's not necessary.'_

I didn't need to think of them, I was busy. Applejack and Rarity...I stopped and sighed sadly. Something terrible had happened to them, but I couldn't pause to think of them. I didn't have the time. I enjoyed the quiet solitude for a moment, leaning back and smiling, before I sat up and shrugged the stress out of my shoulders. The book seemed to beckon to me.

Rainbow Dash

Sitting alone on my cloud was depressing and boring. Two weeks ago I'd wanted excitement, and now that I had it, I wanted it gone. Rarity first...now Applejack? Was this random? Was someone else next? I sat up and shook my head violently, '_Stop it! Just stop it!'_

All I wanted to do was see my friends again, so I got up and stretched my wings. I had to fly...maybe the others were up for a picnic?

I leapt off the cloud, catching air in my wings and soaring high above PonyVille. The way the wind filled my ears and whisked my hair made me feel so free...

I looked down and saw the picnic blanket, smiling as Pinkie and Fluttershy sat with Sweetiebelle. I slowly lowered myself to the ground and pulled my wings up against my back, "Hey guys..." Fluttershy tensed and ignored me while I looked at Pinkie. Her pinke curly hair had gone straight and I stared at it for a moment. _'It's nothing._'

I sit with them on the blanket, crossing my legs and watching as Sweetiebelle played with Angel Bunny. Fluttershy had discovered Rarity was gone...and Pinkie discovered Applejack...

"Hey, you guys found out AJ and Rarity were gone right?"

Fluttershy tensed and Sweetiebelle stared at me. Pinkie shot me a poisonous look, "Yes." I knew her eyes told me to stop, but I couldn't.

"I just want to know...are they going to be okay?" I stared at Pinkie as she narrowed her eyes.

"We don't know..." Pinkie answered slowly and leaned back slightly.

"Well, did you see anything that would say they wouldn't be?" Pinkie's fingers curled into a fist.

"I don't have a medical degree. I wouldn't know." Pinkie glanced at Fluttershy, "Do you have a med degree?"

"No, Pinkie, I don't."

"Why won't you two talk about it?" I watched as Fluttershy heaved a sigh.

"Because we don't want to." Fluttershy snapped back and I glanced down at Sweetiebelle. Tears flooded her eyes and Fluttershy sighed, "Oh, Belle..." she pulled the small filly into her arms, cradling her.

"Now look what you've done, Rainbow Dash." Pinkie snapped, standing to her feet, "C'mon, Angel."

"I just want some answers..." I started but Pinkie turned away from me as the white bunny leapt onto her shoulder.

"Rainbow Dash, we all miss them and we're all concerned for them. But some of us just don't want to re-live what we saw." Fluttershy replied to me, her voice hard, "And we have some more important things to worry about-" I glanced at her as she stood and soothed Sweetiebelle, "-then you're answers."

I watched as the two left, leaving me alone on the blanket. Had I really upset everyone that much? Was it so hard to ask for a few answers?

Forget them. I don't need them. I never have. If they don't want to be friends with me, they don't have to be. I stand up and flick my wings open. Maybe a few exercises will help me clear my head. It would be nice to think only about my next move, instead wondering about something I couldn't control.

I jump and catch air, flapping up into the sky and shooting up through a cloud. I spin and do a few tricks, flips and spins that helped me get the rush I hadn't had in a long time.

I push up into a loop and flick my wings close too late, stretching a muscle and I hiss. Suddenly, I realise I'm falling, faster and faster toward the ground. I force myself to stretch out my wings slowly, wincing in pain as I slowed to a halt and lowered myself to the ground, sitting on the green grass.

stretch and get up. I pull my wing around carefully, reaching up and massaging the joint carefully. It hurt so bad, but the pain dissipated under my experienced fingers. The pain was almost gone when a dark purple aura surrounded my wings, "Wha-huh?"

Suddenly my wings are pulled back, bending at the joint in a direction they shouldn't and I hear two distinct snaps. I didn't feel the pain for a moment, but as soon as the aura dissipated it returned. Someone had broken my wings, and I screamed in pain. I didn't stop to think that someone had done it intentionally, I only told myself to get help.

I forced myself onto my feet and tried to stand, my wings dragged behind me, but it hurt so much. I wanted to curl them close, I wanted to hold them, but it hurt to try and I stumbled, crying. I had never been in so much pain, I started shaking and I fell to my hands and knees. I closed my eyes and sobbed, wanting the pain to go away, but it just wouldn't and I threw up into the grass.

I tried to stand and walk again, stumbling a few steps before falling again.

This time my arms went weak and I fell facedown, sobbing and tense with pain. I look up and see a pair of purple shoes, ones I had seen before. The pain blocked me from remembering who's shoes they were, but I knew they were familiar. I feel one of the shoes slip under my shoulder, "No..." I beg, knowing they would turn me onto my back.

The show slowly lifted me, my wings shifted and I moaned in pain. They continued to pull me up, ignoring my cries, "No! Stop!" Why were they doing it so slowly?

Suddenly, I was thrown onto my back, causing me to crush my broken wings beneath my full weight and I shrieked in pain, kicking at the dirt and sobbing pitifully to myself. I thought only of my pain.

"Please, whoever you are, help me..."

I look up as the shoes crunch the grass above my head. They are backlit by the sun and I see a gleam of white teeth as they grin, "Why?" I recognize the voice, but my mind is a pain-filled fog.

"It hurts..." I whimper, trying my best not to move and sob.

"I know." They replied simply, still grinning at me.

"Then why won't you help?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Because I made it hurt." I stare up at the black figure and hear a dark laugh, before my pain-filled mind shut the world from me.

Excerpt

_Had we known that several ponies had gone missing, we would have acted sooner. Rainbow Dash could have been spared and we would have caught this before it got any worse. But we didn't. As far as anyone was aware, it was one disappearance, and Applejack had vanished before. Rarity was believed to be in Canterlotte, but I have no record of that being the case._

_I didn't not know that something was wrong, even after Rainbow Dash had been abducted, until weeks after the incident. No one knew._

_Several scheduled storms and sunny days hadn't happened, leaving clouds all over PonyVille for several days. No one knew anything was wrong, until a certain Pegasus came to me. He had noticed from CloudsDale, and no one else was concerned that Rainbow Dash was slacking off so severely. It seems to me like she did it often._

_I sent my best detective, a Colt name Detail, to find out what had happened to the blue mare. It was important that she was safe, since she was the one and only mare to perform a Sonic Rainboom and was practically the sole weather guardian in PonyVille._

_Details tried to find out all he could the missing mare, but nothing turned up at her home. It looked like it hadn't been touched in days, and Details told me that even Rainbow's hoofprints had faded. She hadn't been at home for several weeks._

_Details returned a few days later, looking exasperated and frustrated. No one had seen her. No one had noticed she was missing, since she'd spent so much time isolated. Fluttershy had seemed like a prime suspect for a few days, until we surveyed her comings and goings. She was a normal, everyday pony, taking care of an abandoned sister. It wasn't until we interviewed the small Pegasus that we found out Rarity's departure was suspicious to her and Rarity's little sister, Sweetiebelle._

_I didn't want to bring him into this, but I had to tell the Captain of the Guard. There was not much else we could do. We had canvassed all of Canterlotte, including asking Hoity Toity if he'd seen Rarity, which he thoroughly denied. Although he complimented her dresses a lot._

_Shining Armour was confused when I told him. Apparently Twilight Sparkle hadn't been talking to her brother much in the last few weeks. I had to explain it to him from the beginning and he too was devastated. Three of the bridesmaids from his wedding was gone. He told me he would tell Twilight..._

_A few days later he came to me, and spoke to me in a way I had never expected a Captain of the Guard to do. As Captain of the Equestria Police Force, it didn't seem appropriate, but he did explain that he had no one else he trusted enough to tell. As well as helping me in our investigation. Nothing like this had ever happened before, and it had happened to three of the most important ponies in Equestria._

_He told me that Twilight had broken down, then locked him out of her life. Shining Armour hoped it was just the pain of losing three friends, but it still hurt him deep. We were drinking at that time, and Shining Armour wept as he replayed the reactions of every pony._

_Twilight was angry and hurt, shutting Shining Armour out of her life. She didn't understand why nothing was being done to find them and wouldn't let Shining Armour comfort her._

_Fluttershy burst into tears, falling to her knees and pulled the weeping Sweetiebelle close. Pinkamina sat with them, staring into space as though she couldn't really feel any longer. Fluttershy took her hand and squeezed it, then wrapped her arm around Pinkie's shoulder and pulled her against her._

_Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetiebelle took it the hardest. The poor fillies. Scootaloo wept for her idol, while Applebloom and Sweetiebelle each held onto one of the older mares. Fluttershy eventually invited Scootaloo into her home and Shining Armour had to leave._

_By the time he'd finished telling me he was badly inebriated. I escorted him home and began my report._

_We couldn't find anything else to help our investigations, another weather pony was assigned to take Rainbow Dash's place and the case has gone cold._

_We will find this culprit. I just hope it isn't before bodies start showing up._

_-Excerpt from the journal of Cold Steel, Captain of the Equestrian Police Force._


	10. Chapter 4: Laughter Extinguished

**Chapter 4**

**Laughter Extinguished**

****Fluttershy

I smile down at the small girl, brushing candy pink hair from her pale face. Her nights are haunted by nightmares, her days filled with worry. Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo were being forced to grow up too fast, something I didn't enjoy seeing. She tries to look up at me again, her eyelids heavy as I kiss her cheek, "Goodnight, Sweetiebelle." I whisper.

"Goodnight, Fluttershy." She whispers back, yawning and settling into bed. Scootaloo is lying beside her, her back turned to us and I quietly step around the bed, stroking Scootaloo's short purple mane.

"Goodnight, Scootaloo." She frowns in her sleep and I kiss her forehead, before slowly stepping out of the room. I knew I was good with animals and children, the Cutie Mark Crusaders especially, but I couldn't control the effects of mourning. I wasn't a parent. All I could ever hope to be is a sister, and I was beginning to think I wasn't the best type of sister to have around.

I slowly walk down the stairs and glance at Angel as I sigh sadly to myself. Gone. How could three people just vanish? First Rarity...then Applejack and now Rainbow Dash? Why weren't they able to find anything? I lower my head and desperately try to suppress a growl from deep inside my chest. Why weren't they doing anything to find them? How hard was it to find three fucking people?!

Angel tugs at the hem of my jeans as I turn to the vase beside me and punch my hand through the porcelain. I feel the pain but I ignore it, listening to it's high-pitched shatter and glance at Angel as he dodges a falling piece. I lash out at the stand, knocking it over and punching the wall. Several critters poke their heads out of their homes as I pick up the lamp stand and throw it across the room.

I was no longer thinking. I couldn't. I had to destroy whatever I could as quickly as I could. Angel seems to be shouting at the other critters as the stand flies across the room and it crashes through a wall.

How could people go missing?! I didn't understand...how could nothing be found at all?! I punch the wall again, and I hear a soft call behind me, "Fluttershy?" I turn to the noise, panting and I see little Sweetiebelle rubbing her sleepy eye. Scootaloo is hiding behind the smaller girl as I turn from them.

"Go back upstairs. You shouldn't see me like this." I say, trying to hide the anger in my voice and walk ahead of them.

Instead I feel two arms wrap around my hips and soft crying, "Its okay, Fluttershy." I turn and look down at Sweetiebelle, who looks up at me with tears in her eyes, "You're allowed to be angry." She buries her face back into my shirt as I glance up at Scootaloo.

"Sweetiebelle...please go upstairs." I slowly and gently pry her free, "I just need some time."

Sweetiebelle nods and turns to the stairs, taking Scootaloo by the hand and pausing before going up the stairs, "Fluttershy...we love you."

I stare at her as they disappear up the stairs in their pyjamas, hand in hand like sisters and I fight tears. We used to be that close. The six of us...

I spin and kick at the sofa, sending it flying backwards into the wall. Angel is watching me patiently on the stairs as I throw another lamp across the room. Then the anger dissipated as it usually did and left me as a sobbing mess on my floor. Why did I destroy everything? Why was I plagued with this anger and hatred that I couldn't lash out any other time? It was okay when I left it here, at home, and no one else was around...but now it's leaking into the rest of my life...

I couldn't get myself together until Angel hopped over to me, crawling into my lap and nestling against my arm. I looked down at him as tears spilled from my eyes and he watched me with a gentle smirk. I pulled him up into my arms and hugged him closer, feeling him gently stroke my pale pink hair.

"She's right, Fluttershy..." whispers Angel, "It's okay to be angry..." He gently kisses my cheek, "They need you too..."

I nod and pick myself up off the floor, slowly making my way through the mess on my floor to the stairs and walked up them, feeling like a hundred weights were hanging off my every joint and muscle. How was I supposed to survive another day? This was too much to handle...

I glance at the girl's room and see the light's on underneath, "They love you, Fluttershy." Angel titters beside me and I glance at him, "They want you to be happy too. You've done so much for them. Show them you're strong enough to cry."

I nod, making my way to their room and I open the door. Both girls look at me and I wipe my cheeks, smiling wearily at them as I closed the door behind me. Scootaloo has been crying and I frown, moving to their side, "Hey..." I wrap an arm around Scootaloo's shoulders and she throws herself at me, "What's wrong?"

"I...you were so angry..." Scootaloo buried her face in my shoulder, "I thought I was the only one!"

I frown and stroke her hair as I pull Sweetiebelle to me, "Well, we're all allowed to be angry and sad sometimes..." I hold them both as close as possible and whimper, fighting tears, "It's just hard to cry in front of you girls...I just want to be strong for you..."

Sweetiebelle shook her head, "You don't need to be, all the time..." Sweetiebelle wrapped her arms around my neck and I buried my face in her neck, sobbing freely in the arms of the two sweetest friends I'd had in a long time.

Pinkie Pie

I glance up nervously as Twilight carefully sips her tea. She has a strange smirk on her face, one that has been disappearing and reappearing for the entire time she's been here.

Not to mention the constant twitching in her ear...it's a bit weird seeing as I'm not actually speaking...I take a tentative sip of my tea and she relaxes her shoulder.

She straightens, staring into her tea as I place my teacup down. She seems to be listening to something and her smirk falls for a moment before she looks up at me and pulls it into a bright smile, "How have you been, Pinkie?"

I smile back at her and she seems to relax further as I tense a little. She was unusually interested in me today, the opposite of the way she's been for several months. I saw her smile brightly at me, "I've been alright. Could've been better." I watch her closely, "I miss the others terribly."

Twilight's ear flops violently and I stare at her for a moment before she answers, "I do too...I don't understand how they couldn't have found anything yet." Again, her ear flops violently and I smirk uncomfortably at her.

"Yeah...you know how Fluttershy had that..uh, spit...at Rainbow Dash?" I tried to remember if Twilight had been at the picnic when Fluttershy lost her composure for a moment, but I couldn't remember. Twilight tilted her head and I sighed. "Fluttershy's been a little...ill...lately..." I start carefully and I see a strange glimmer in Twilight's eyes as her ear twitches, "She's been having random and violent fits of rage..."

Twilight seems to relax and smiles at me, "I, uh...I didn't know that." I watch her nervously as she stands, "Want some more tea?" she asks and I nod. She stands and takes my tea cup as I glance at her bag. I see the corner of an old tattered tome watching me as Twilight enters the kitchen.

I gently pull the tome from the bag and carefully open the cover, reading slowly as the kitchen door opens again. I don't look up at Twilight, "Hey, this is pretty cool, Twi."

"Isn't it just?" Twilight sounds tense and protective, so I glance up at her and watch her ear flop again.

"It is...are you okay?"

"Would you mind...putting it away?"

I shrug and stand, "Sure." I walk around the table and gently place it in her bag. I wasn't concentrating on Twilight and hadn't realised she'd put the tea down. I looked up and she wasn't sitting at the table. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain on the back of my head, and the floor moved to greet me. Then the world was torn from me.

Pinkie Pie-Sometime later...

It isn't long before the world slowly returns to me, and I smell nothing but mould in my nose. I tried to move, to see around the dark room better, but all I could see in my blurry haze were three thin lines of light flitering is conscious for mere moments, but recoginizes the tortured screams of RainbowDash, the incoherent muttering of Applejack and the sudden, random screams of Rarity. I hear Rainbow Dash somewhere nearby, "Stop! Stop pulling at them!" "Move...move...move..." I hear from a hole in the wall beside my head and I see a green orb staring at me.

"Applejack?" I whisper and the eye vanishes, as though the name is a horrible thing to hear.

A piercing scream suddenly broke out in the cell beside me. Then a second. And a third. Wherever I was, I wasn't going to like it.

Fluttershy

I heard Sweetiebelle crash through the door as I help wrap a bandage around a small mouse's leg. I glance back at her as she sobs. Scootaloo follows close behind as Sweetiebelle throws herself at me and wraps her arms around my neck. The mouse squeaks its thanks and moves away as I wrap my arms around Sweetiebelle's waist.

Sweetiebelle is lost for words as Scootaloo rests her scooter next to the door and makes her way over slowly, "We...we..." Scootaloo battles her tears, "Twilight and Pinkie are...their gone..." I stare at the two girls and Sweetiebelle whimpers.

Scootaloo gently pries Sweetiebelle from me as another fit of rage clouds my vision. Sweetiebelle tries to fight Scootaloo.

"Sweetiebelle...Fluttershy needs a bit of time. She'll come upstairs later right?" I noded and Sweetiebelle followed Scootaloo as I jumped from my chair. Angel ushered all his friends outside as I gripped the table.

"Why...?" I whispered, feeling myself shaking, "Why is this happening?" Angel bounds onto the table and sits patiently, "How hard is to fucking-?!" I grip the chair in my hands and pull it toward me, "-find people?!" I throw it through the living room and out the window, listening to it bounce over my path and down into the muddy swamp.

Almost immediately I heard a voice, "Fluttershy?" I ignored the voice of Mrs. Cakes as I spun around and lashed out. I couldn't stand this. His was all too much.

"Why?!" I screamed, punching the wall and feeling my hands break through the plaster, "Why?!" I felt my hands get up, blood pouring down my hands and wrists as I turned and flipped my table. Angel leapt on his toes and dodged the debris as Mrs Cakes stepped through the front door.

Other ponies are alienated when Fluttershy lashes out at an investigator for not finding any evidence.

"You've heard..." Mrs Cakes says quietly and I glare at her.

"The girls are upstairs." I snarl and pant.

"They know your-" I nod and turn away from her, pacing through the living room. She walks up the stairs and I kick at a chair, sending it across the room.

"Think about what you're doing, Fluttershy!" he screams at me as I howl and throw a vase across the room and Sweetiebelle races down the stairs.

"Fluttershy!" she screams as I burst into tears and fall to a knee. She wraps her arms around my neck and holds me close as I cry into her shoulder.

"She's-!" I hear Mrs Cake shouting and Scootaloo shouts back, even as Mrs Cake runs down the stairs. By now I was too devastated.

"Their gone..." I hold Sweetiebelle tight and sob, "They're all gone!"


	11. Chapter 5: Kindness Taken and Truths

**Chapter 5**

**Kindness Taken and Truth's Revealed**

****Fluttershy

It felt better to be alone, the two girls off with Mrs Cake. Scootaloo would hate it, but Sweetiebelle would get to make some cakes, and Sweetiebelle loved that. But I didn't really feel alone. And lets not forget to mention how hard it was for me to stay still. I couldn't help but move. Now that I didn't have to worry about the girls, the only thing I had on my mind was the fact most of the Elements of Harmony were missing. Generosity, Honesty, Loyalty, Laughter and Magic? I was all that was left. Kindness...how can I be kind if I'm so frustrated?

Angel is talking to his meadow friends and I look up at them while I pace. I normally would have found it ironic that I was the one pacing, since Twilight was always the ball of anxiety, but I was too wired up to care. Angel glances at me as I turn and walk back the other way, "Is it weird to you too, Angel?" I ask, as I turn again to face them. He seems to sense the current of anger beneath my calm facade and tells his friends to leave.

Without question they vanish. If it weren't for Angel, I'm not sure I would have been able to stay so calm for so long. And my friends...I didn't need to be angry when I had their support...now it's gone and I'm alone with Angel. At least he wouldn't leave my side.

"It is weird to me, Fluttershy." He is sitting on a perch high above me, watching me carefully as I flick my wings in frustration.

"It's so weird...why us? Why target us?" I pause and glance up at him, "You don't think they're trying to get us out of the way to harm Equestria, do you?"

Angel shook his head, "They would have done it faster." He commented, frowning, "You remember when we found Rarity's place the way it was?" I nodded, "Did you notice how brave you'd become?"

I shrugged and turned away from him. I crossed my arms over my chest and continued to pace. The truth was that I had noticed, I'd just avoided thinking about it. Angel didn't take my shrug for an answer.

"Fluttershy." He said firmly and I sighed. Pausing, with my back to him, I gave in.

"Yes, Angel. I did." I turned to him, "Have you noticed how angry I am?!"

Angel nodded slowly, "Yes, in fact I have." He smirked, "I'm fairly sure you and Pinkie were the only people who cared that you and you're friends were falling apart." He leapt from the perch and landed on the couch arm.

I sighed sadly, "Me too..." I turned away from him and walked slowly to the front door, "I just...I can't think of anyone who would have it out for us..." I turn back to Angel, "Discord is still imprisoned, Luna was cured...Queen Chrysalis is gone." I collapse into the sofa, "To be honest, Angel," he bounded to my side and sat in my lap, "I'm so tired of trying to figure this out on my own."

Angel bounds up into my crossed arms and rests on my breasts, "It's not your job." He whispers, "Have something to eat." He poked my cheek, "You've lost weight since this started." He frowned, "You're starting to look like a skeleton."

I helped hold Angel in my arms as I stood and studied my face in the mirror. I remembered it was the mirror I'd glanced into during the thunderstorm. The same day as the picnic...when I snapped at Rainbow Dash...

I shook the memory and sighed, studying how pale I was. I was starting to look sickly. Pale, and haggard are the two words that best described me. My eyes were tired, I had dark bags under my eyes from my restless nights, and I seemed to have a permanent frown. I saw Angel crawl up to my shoulder and he pulled my pink hair from my neck and snuggled close to me.

"I know you miss them." He said, "But take care of yourself too."

I looked down at him and nodded, "Thanks, Angel Bunny." I wrapped him in my arms and cradled him close. I walked into the kitchen, placing him on the counter and preparing a sandwich. We chatted light-heartedly, the first time in a long time.

?

The cupboard smelt of potatoes and rabbit food, which is probably what it was for. Fluttershy was moving around the kitchen, laughing weakly and chatting to her rabbit. I never understood how she could do that, but it was interesting. Few people could speak to animals, and even fewer still were Pegasi who could do so. Fluttershy slips out for a moment, Angel on her shoulder and utensils in her hands. I slip out of the cupboard, pulling a pill from my pocket and dropped it in her teapot. It wouldn't be long before she was at least dizzy. It would be easier to speak to her and coax her into drinking more.

I never meant to hurt anyone...I just want to study them...they're so different. Each one is different but makes a certain piece of the whole and I was worried this whole thing was going to destroy Fluttershy. I needed her intact. She's the most important piece of the puzzle. Without Kindness there is no Elements of Harmony, no peace.

I retreat back and hide as Fluttershy returns, _'Easier to just grab her...'_

I shrug and roll my eyes, watching as Fluttershy took her tea and sandwich into the other room, "I want the rabbit too..."

"_Why?"_

"I just...wonder if it can go crazy too..."

I laugh, or maybe it was in my head? I don't know much anymore. Fluttershy doesn't return, so I assume it was in my head, '_Interesting. Let's do it.'_

Angel is nibbling on my sandwich, which we've almost finished. My tea is half gone, and I felt a little funny. I wasn't sure if I was just relaxed, or if my tea was made different, but it tasted funny. Angel looked up at me as I burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggling. At first he smiled. Until I realised I couldn't stop. He frowned, "Fluttershy?"

I curl over, my stomach aching as my laughter turns to cries of agony. Angel leaps from the table in front of me as I collapse forward, my hand curled in the tablecloth. Everything on the table collapses around me and Angel suddenly screams.

I turn onto my side and look at the purple clad Twilight. She is holding Angel by the jaw, her hand pressed firmly over his mouth. She looks worse than I do, her eyes are dark ringed, her hair frizzy and her clothes were slightly torn. I wasn't sure if she was even Twilight for a moment. She was staring at me, her ears twitching and she frowned sadly at me.

"Does it hurt?" she asks me gently, kneeling in front of me and pinning Angel onto his back on the floor, "It shouldn't hurt..." She reaches out for me and I try to scuffle back, coughing weakly. She smirks at me, then turns to Angel who is kicking wildly. She picks him up off the floor and slams him down again.

I scream, "Don't hurt him, Twilight!" I reach out for him, and she relinquishes him slowly. I cradle him and sob, still trying to back away from Twilight. She was different, I'd been ignoring the feeling for months. Why hadn't I spoken up before it was too late? She frowns at me as I sob over him, "Angel? Angel Bunny?"

"Fluttershy, I don't want to hurt you." Her voice is clear and concise now, and she straightens. When I look at her, my eyes blurring at the edges, she looks different. Her eyes are clear and smart, but not Twilight, "Angel will be fine." She held her hand out, "Let me have him..." then her voice softens to one I remember, "Please?"

"Why are you doing this?" I ask, clutching Angel tightly and Twilight gently pries him from me. She places him beside us as she kneels beside me.

"I know it hurts, Fluttershy..." she says gently, "It's because you didn't take enough." She turns to my tea set and smiles, "I saved your tea pot and cup." She turns and grins at me, "It won't hurt when you have the proper dose." I shake my head and her eyes clear again, "I don't want to hurt you like I had to hurt the others."

"The others?!" I cry, my vision seeming to clear, "It was _you_?!" I sit up and she pushes me back down. With unexpected strength she pushes the spout of the teapot into my mouth and slams my nose shut.

"I don't want to hurt you." Twilight says gently as my mouth closes around the spout, courtesy of Twilight's magic, "Just drink." She tilts the pot up and I feel the hot liquid rush into my mouth.

It's so hot it's scalding me and I scream in pain as it rushes down my throat. I kick and push at her but she's stronger than I remembered and the pot emptied, leaving my mouth and throat burnt. She removes the teapot and gets off me as I cover my mouth and sob.

"What's wrong, Fluttershy?" Twilight kneels beside me again, "It's not supposed to hurt anymore..."

"The tea was boiling hot!" I scream, my voice cracks and I sob, covering my mouth again as she stares at me for a moment before leaving. I turn to the unmoving Angel, who is slowly coming to, "Angel?" I whisper and he nods drowsily, "Stay with me..." I whisper, pulling him into my arms and curling up around him. I didn't hear Twilight enter, "I love you, Angel."

She kneels beside me and offers me cold water, which cools my burnt mouth. Twilight lets me rest my head as I realise I'm tired. She strokes my hair and sits behind me, "Relax, Fluttershy." She whispers, "Sleep now, it'll all be over soon."


	12. Chapter 6: Loss of Control

**Chapter 6**

**Structure**

The pain in my heart was worse than the physical pain I felt anywhere else. Why was she doing this to us? What had we done to anger her so much? I thought of Twilight as a sister, not some twisted psychopath, why was she hurting us like this?

A loud, tortured cry breaks me from my dreaming. I'm back in my small, dark cell, lying on a small, filthy mattress. I'm cold, my clothes are mostly tatters and I haven't bathed in so long. The sun, when it comes out, hurts my eyes. The small hole in the wall where it filters through had been my one source of hope. I used to lie there and stare out into the lush green forest just beyond the wall. It was the one thing I wanted, that I slowly understood I would never obtain.

Another anguished cry breaks through the normal sounds of the darkness. Loud wails and sobbing breaks out in a cell beside mine like the inconsolable mourning of a mother. I couldn't imagine who it was, and I couldn't remember if anyone else had come here, but I knew that there were others.

At first I'd wished they were my friends, or that they would appear for me again as they had for the Diamond Dog Incident, but I slowly hoped the voices I recognized were not who I thought they were.

And that they weren't the ones screaming in pain.

Now the wailing has died down to sobbing and another is slamming themselves against a metal door. I imagined it was Rainbow Dash, shouting curses and slamming repeatedly until I heard a familiar call, "Fluttershy! Stop! You'll hurt yourself!"

Fluttershy replied and I stared into the darkness. She had become such an angry mare, she had changed so much in just a short time and it wasn't the first time her long-temper had exploded into fury, but never violence. Several voices arose at the mention of Fluttershy's name and most were in unison about one thing, Fluttershy shouldn't have been there.

Most of the argument included how weak Fluttershy is and how they were supposed to protect her. I peek through the hole in my door to the tall woman, her purple hair draped over her shoulders. She is listening to us, her ears twitching and a soft smile on her face. Her notepad is floating beside her head, her pen scribbling away furiously as she stares into space.

"I'm not weak!" I hear Fluttershy scream, still slamming herself against the door, "I'm just as strong as the rest of you!" she continues but I stop listening.

Twilight has turned from us back to the outstretched form of a familiar mare. The dark tanned Applejack lay outstretched on a flat table, her wrists and ankles shackled. Twilight had the apparatus up to prevent her head from moving the slightest bit and Applejack's chest is heaving. I can tell it's from pain.

The argument continues as Twilight picks up a suture with wire and I feel a cold sweat on my back. What was she doing?

"No...Twilight...no..." I hear Applejack whimper, her hands flexing nervously in her shackles, "Twilight..." Twilight's purple eyes meet Applejack's and she smiles.

"It won't hurt this time, AJ." I shudder at her calm and clear voice, "Not if you stop screaming..."

Twilight feeds the end of the wire into the eye of the suture and Applejack starts crying, "It still hurts, Twi...I can't...I can't...help it..."

Twilight shakes her head as my vision is blocked for a moment by tears. I know the argument is still raging on the other side of my cell wall, but I didn't care, "Rarity?" someone calls for my opinion.

"Applejack..." I whisper, my finger brushing the door so lightly I barely felt it. Some days I felt trapped in my head, watching what Twilight wanted me to watch, not being a part of what I was seeing. But today wasn't one of them. The argument dies as I stare out at Applejack.

"What's going on?" I hear my neighbour ask and I close my eyes for a moment. Not everyone was privy to the view I received it seemed.

"She's-" Applejack screamed as the suture pierced her lip and Twilight barely reacted. She remained as calm and still as she had always been, pulling the suture free and tugging on the wire. Applejack's sobs were loud and punctured, her chest heaving as the suture pierced her again and again.

Voices rose around me, shouting and accusations and begging. Suddenly, Twilight stops and gives Applejack a small rest. I knew that the short reprieve would cause her more pain in the end. No one else seemed to. Maybe I'd just learnt from Twilight's methods.

Twilight walked away from the table and toward my cell, but she hesitated, instead turning back to Applejack and pulling on the wire. Applejack's cries were muffled, she jerked desperately as Twilight finished up, and went limp when Twilight put the suture down. I continued to stare as Twilight removed the shackles, then tossed the limp Applejack onto the floor. Unconscious and weak from starvation, she didn't move, lying at the bottom of the stairs like an abandoned ragdoll. That was when I saw it.

Applejack's weatherworn lips, sewn shut permanently, blood still pouring from the wounds and seeping onto the floor. Tears flooded free of my eyes and I wept for Applejack. Twilight prepared her next station, one I was familiar with and I ignored the nibbling feeling that I was next. Applejack awoke slowly, her eyes opening and falling onto me.

"Applejack..." I whispered, sobbing and spluttering like an infant, "Be strong..." I offered and looked away, covering my face and sobbing. How could I offer such advice when I was losing the battle? It was painful to hold out hope, especially when I wasn't sure I should have been.

I hear Twilight's voice, "Applejack, you know where you belong." The cell door opens and I look up to see Applejack trying to drag herself to her cell like a wounded dog. Twilight is watching emotionless, "Hurry up!" she screams and Applejack flinches, whimpering softly like a dog and Twilight marches over. I watch Twilight kick Applejack in the side, "Move!" she screams, pointing to Applejack's cell and shouting dog obedience commands. Applejack disappears from view, but I hear her being beaten again.

"Twilight, please...please stop hurting her..." I beg, sobbing softly into my hands and hugging myself, "Please stop hurting her, Twi!" I scream and the beating stops for a moment. Applejack is silent, not a single whimper or sigh of pain, and her cell door slams shut, "Applejack?" I whisper, trying to speak to my familiar companion, until my cell door opens.

I wasn't sure what she wanted of me but I skittered back on instinct and whimpered as Twilight stood calmly at the door. She fixes on me with her bright purple eyes, the ones I knew were Twilight's, "I won't hurt her...if you take her place for the day..." I stare at her and she steps in, "Not that you have a choice now."

I press myself against the wall and sob pitifully to myself. I couldn't fight her, not without hurting her and my magic was useless. The most I could do was find gems or pick up objects for a moment. I couldn't hit her with something. She grips me by the hair and drags me toward my cell door. I try to stop her, scraping the heels of my hands along the rough stone and tearing my scarce clothing, "Twilight!" I hear someone scream but she doesn't stop.

There was nothing we could do now. She was lost to us. I should have known the moment I saw the tome. I should have stopped her, but I was too selfish to care. I'd been too busy trying to make a gift, only to have it destroyed in the end. Now I was being torn apart by my own head. She drags me to the vertical rack like a disobedient dog and I don't bother trying to stand.

Her magic wraps around my wrists and ankles, forcing me to stand as she drags me around in front of her. I hadn't been this close to her in so long and I stared at her in terror. She was no longer this person I knew, no longer this friend of mine. She was a complete stranger. She stands close to me for a moment, studying my eyes and she smiles softly at me. The smile was unnerving and frightening. I couldn't look at her, I couldn't have her stare at me like that. Her eyes cold and heartless, her smile warm and inviting.

Her magic presses me against the rack and shackles lock around me. She lowers something over my horn and I go rigid. Was this why I was here? Would she disfigure two of us in one day? Had Twilight planned all this from the beginning? Had Princess Celestia or Luna known? Were they unwitting pawns in this game of hers? No...this was all new...this game was new...but the coldness in her heart was old...so very very old...

"Twilight..." tears roll down my eyes as I watch her turn to a device and stand beside a large wheel. The rope leads from it to the vice over my horn and she surrounds it in her magic, "Twilight...just...why are you doing this to us?" Tears fall free as my dry throat cracks.

She starts turning the wheel and discomfort starts, "I want to know what no pony has ever known before." She answered, and kept turning. The discomfort slowly turned to pain and I bit my lip.

"But...Twilight...we're...you're...friends..." I pant between the words, closing my eyes as the pain grows too great, "Please...stop hurting...us..."

Twilight hesitates for a moment, leaving the wheel stationary and the vice tight around my horn. I was starting to sweat, my hands clenching and unclenching as I remembered Applejack's doing. The pain was almost unbearable. I opened one eye to look at her and she's still smiling, her ear twitching. Then she laughs softly, "Oh Rarity...I know you five better than anyone else. What better way to know an experiment has worked than to know how your subjects started out?" she turns the wheel a fraction and pain erupts in my horn.

"But...Twi..." I start crying again, "Twi..." I feel as though I'm going to fall to pieces, my arms and legs lying separate on the floor like a badly put together puzzle, "Twi...we trusted you..." She hesitates again, "We...we needed you..." she is staring at me angrily now, the smile wiped from her face, "We aren't people you picked up off the streets." I finished and her smile returns.

"I know." She answers, turning the wheel that tiny bit again. Now she was going to make the agony last. I bit my lip as small cries of pain broke free, "That's what makes this perfect." She added, turning it a tiny bit again, "I know who are, what you like to do, how you behave and why." She suddenly jerked the wheel, tightening the vice suddenly and I scream for her. Why fight it? She grins at me, "It makes it so much easier to know when you've broken." Then she turned the wheel again.

I heard a sharp crack and a lightning bolt of pain shattered me. I was screaming somewhere. I was crying and sobbing. Everything seemed white and black. Pain made repeated routes over my body once, twice...so many times I lost count. Over and over the pain continued, the magic inside me set alight with the loss of my horn. I hear laughter, I see friendship behind my eyelids. We're having a Pet PlayDate...we were so happy then...

I hear a voice call out to me from the memory. It's Twilight, her purple eyes alight with happiness, "Come over, Rarity! And bring Opalescence!" I don't look at my pet cat, but I walk toward the group, unaware that my beautiful cat is nowhere near me. Twilight embraces me, I smile at her and the whole experience seems to be a twisted nightmare. Then Twilight pulls away and I'm met with the bright Aqua eyes of Fluttershy, "It's alright, Rarity..." she says in her soft voice, her bright pink hair flat against her head. I smell the salts of the spa and her hair glistens with water, "You'll be famous one day..." she smiles gently at me as she turns away. This time her hair goes blonde and her skin goes dark. I'm walking and Applejack turns to me, "Y'all think you could 'elp us out for a sec?" she smiles at me, her apple green eyes glistening and warm in the summer sun. I'm walking with her now and I hear a shrill laugh, "This is going to be so much fun!" Pinkie is jumping up and down beside me, clapping her hands as her curly pink hair jumps around beside her head. She leaps in front of me and holds my hands, her baby blue eyes glittering with a happiness I could never place, "Isn't this going to be so much fun?!" I nod as I look down and see Sweetiebelle...sweet little Sweetiebelle, her eyes wide with glee as she drags to me to her newest creation. A dress she tried to make for her friend and I smile back at her when she changes into Rainbow Dash, strutting beside me like the athlete she was. She grins mischievously at me and I hear a cry of fear before nervous laughter, "Like my newest prank?" I laugh even though I haven't seen the prank.

Then they go dark. Pinkie's hair is straight, her baby blue eyes cast down as though in shame or pain. She's crying now, hugging herself in the darkness and rocking. "Pinkie?" she doesn't respond to me, "Pinkie?!" she covers her head, pressing her pink ears flat on her head and buries her face in her knees. Now I'm looking down at Fluttershy, snarling and angry, hugging Angel close to her and pacing. Her aqua eyes are alight with a fiery rage, her hands covered in dirt and bruises, "Fluttershy?" I whisper and her ears go flat on her head for a moment. Now I'm looking down at Rainbow Dash, her wings broken and twisted behind her back, her arms bound above her head, gagged, her head low in shame. She is sobbing, shaking in the darkness and I reach out for her, "Oh, Rainbow Dash..." her ears flick and she looks up at me before I find myself with Applejack, sitting beside her as she sobs curled in a ball. She is hugging her stomach, her ears flat on her head and I stroke her hair. She flinches and jumps away from me before I see Twilight, staring down at me before the rack.

Her mouth is set in her distinct smirk, "Well, that was interesting, Rarity." I can't focus on her and she grips my chin, "A little dizzy?" I nod pathetically and she smirks.

"I...I..."

"Don't." She says firmly and the shackles release me, dropping me to my knees. My hands fall limp at my sides, all my energy sapped from my magic's sudden turn of events, "I'm expecting more from you."

I close my eyes, drop my ears, and let the magic swallow me again. Anything not to look at her twisted face...

We were moved again, shuffling cells, or I think we had...Rarity is beside me now, talking to herself in circles...or what seemed like circles. She was sobbing and I realise that Twilight's removed my gag. I decided to indulge in the privilege.

"Rarity?" she whimpers and goes silent for a moment before she replies.

"Rainbow...I'm sorry..." I frown as she paws at the hole between out cells, her fingers scraping uselessly over the brickwork. Her nails are bloodied stumps, symptoms of her desperate attempts to flee. The dirt no longer seems to bother her, and her voice is low and sad, "I'm so sorry..."

I frown and lower my head, "Me too..." I reply, fighting the tears again, "It was all right there in front of us, but we ignored it." I hang limp from my shackles as another voice joins us.

"You ignored it." Pinkie corrects us.

Both Rarity and I fall silent for a moment, but Pinkie doesn't add anything. Instead she starts talking to Fluttershy quietly, her voice monotone with the undercurrent of anger.

"She's right you know..." Rarity added, "They knew." She groans loudly in pain and sobs for a moment, "I'm sorry, Dash...I'm sorry...I want to talk but I-I-" then she was gone to me, mumbling to herself again, whispering the words of memories.

I'm not sure how long it was until we all realised Twilight was gone. We were never sure how she left, or where she went, but the screams of pain stopped and eventually, one by one, we would fall asleep. I can't hear Applejack at all in the darkness, and fear overcomes me. Is she dead? Is she just gagged?

"Applejack?" I call but she doesn't reply, "Applejack?" a muffled response meets my ears and I sigh, "Are you okay? What did she do to you?"

The cells go silent as we try to listen, but my questions had snapped Rarity from her memories, "She...Twilight..." Rarity fought tears, "Twilight's sown her mouth shut..."

I close my eyes and sigh, "But...why...?"

Rarity doesn't answer me, her magic taking her once more into her memories as she laughs as though she hadn't just told me of my friend's gruesome fate. Pinkie huffs angrily in the cell beside mine, "She wants to silence the truth, Rainbow Dash." Pinkie is clearly upset, although I'm not sure why.

I try to move my wrists, chaffing against raw skin and start to cry. I hadn't cried openly before, and I felt more vulnerable and exposed that I ever had. Even though I knew my friends were on the other side of the walls, I still felt as though they were watching me, judging me and hating me.

No one consoled me, but others joined me.


	13. Chapter 7: Loss of A Friend

**Chapter 7**

**Loss of A Future**

Dearest Readers,

This chapter contains graphic scenes of cruelty and violence. The language is coarse and may not be suitable for younger readers. Read at your own discretion.

Princess Celestia

The crying the night before had left me more drained that I had been in quite some time, but the stiffness in my joints hadn't ceased. Neither had the strain on the muscles. I thought I'd been able to handle this, for longer than this, but I couldn't. I didn't know I would break the night before, but I was hoping it wasn't going to happen again. I sense someone nearby, turning my head slowly as the dizziness unsettled me and I saw Twilight standing by a fire, her back to me. She is silent and distracted, but her ear twitches and I flinch. Had she heard me wake up? Or was it the normal twitching?

I'm not in my cell...why aren't I...oh fuck. Am I next? Why me?! I try to fight the shackles on my wrists, pulling and straining my shoulders as Twilight barely acknowledges me.

I'm lying on my back...my wings are aching a little, but I've learnt to ignore that. For now I suppose. Twilight had tried using them against me, but I passed out last time and it wasn't worth her while I suppose. She seemed to take pleasure in our pain, although I was sure she enjoyed Fluttershy's company much more than mine. I grunt in pain as I twist a muscle in my wing by accident and keep trying to break free. I'm strong enough...I think...

"Hello, Rainbow Dash. So glad you could join me." Twilight turns to me for a moment, her purple eyes glittering from the fire, "I was wondering if you'd wake up...it would be a pity to lose you so soon..." she turned from me again, back to the fire. She is shifting something and then turns back to me, "**You know, Dash, you shouldn't wriggle like that.**" She reaches out and plucks a long blue feather from my wing. I scream in pain and realise it's muffled. I was gagged again. Why-?!

She plucks a second one and studies them for a moment before turning back to the fire. She's grinning to herself, her ear flicking periodically as she places one in the fire.

The smell of burning pony feather was unbearable, "**I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.**" This wasn't Twilight...I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to relax my muscles, "**It would be a shame to end this prematurely.**" I stare at her as she smiles gently at me, "I would miss you terribly." She turns from me again, "Think it's ready yet?" She shakes her head in response, "**Not yet, Twilight. Give it some more time.** Oh, alright." She picks up the second feather and studies it, running her fingers along the surface, "Isn't it beautiful? **Not particularly...Blue is a common colour amongst Pegasus...Fluttershy on the other hand...**" she giggles to herself, "Oh no, not the colour. Don't you feel the pain in the feather?" this time a hearty laugh breaks free from her. Was she crazy?! "**Oh that...yeah, I suppose. But imagine the beauty in Fluttershy's when we're done with her...?**"

I stare at her in horror. She may not have enjoyed hurting Fluttershy to bring her here, but she was enjoying torturing her...I hear a loud shout, "Hey!" It's Fluttershy and she hits the door to her cell, "You fucking bitch!? What the fuck are you doing to Angel?!"

Twilight smirks at the cell and lowers her eyes to me, "Angel's not here, Fluttershy." Twilight answers clearly, "**It's Rainbow Dash...or soon to be...Rainbow**_**Crash**_" I shuddered at the Flight Camp nickname and try to fight tears. I had thought I had it hard...this was worse than anything I'd ever been through. She looks down at me and places the feather beside my head, "I'm sure the feather will help, don't you, Sparkle?" A soft laugh escapes her as she turns to the fire, "**I'm sure it's the additive we need. You are a smart one, Twilight.**" This time she shakes her head, "You came up with it." She turns back to me, her purple eyes awash with glee, "I suppose I should explain, for those of us present who don't quite understand yet." The remark is pointed at me and I try not to cry again, "You see, Sparkle and I have come to the undeniable conclusion that you ask too many question and don't use your eyes often enough." She grins.

I stare at her as she laughs at something and Fluttershy goes silent, "Rainbow Dash?" I didn't realise she was listening, "I..."

"**Fluttershy, you need to be quiet now.**" Fluttershy goes silent and I look up at Twilight, who looks away from Fluttershy's cell and back at me, "Now, we figured we would solve the dilemma." she's grinning wider now, "If you can't see, there's reason for you to ask."

Panic races through me as I fight violently against the shackles. She fixed my head in place with the rack's mechanisms and pulls the gag free, "No! Twilight, please no!"

Twilight laughs again, "You're never going to recover from the breaks in your wings anyway." She shakes her head sadly, "**I'm afraid there's no happy ending for you**."

"Why are you doing this, Twilight?" my voice breaks with tears but I refuse to let them slip free, "We're your friends!"

"To be completely honest Rainbow Dash, **you're not the easiest pony to get along with**." I stare at her as she plucks a second feather free and I cry out in pain, "You really aren't as strong as you claim to be either...**emotional torment...physical torment...you can't stand any of it, can you?**" I look away from her as she laughs, "You're a worthless piece of shit."

How could she be so brutal and so calm at the same time? I didn't understand how she could do this to us. I watched her silently as she turns back to the fire and reaches for the object she was playing with. Oh god...oh god...no...

She starts panting as I hold the red hot bar over her face. I was essentially a bar with the end curled in a spiral. The metal glowed red from staying in the fire and the look of pure terror in her rose eyes fuelled me.

"**Don't hesitate now...**" I hear Sparkle whisper in my ear and I smile as Rainbow Dash stares at me, "**This has to be done...**" I nod and grin, "Ready, Rainbow Crash?" Rainbow opens her mouth and simply gasps in a breath, "Of course not."

I raise the blue feather, holding it over one of her eyes and then lower the spiral over it. She screams in pain as the pony feather sizzles and melts, burning into her skin. I could see her eye burning shut and she arches in pain, shrieking into the darkness. Rarity starts screaming with her, pounding on the bars of her new cell and shaking them.

"Don't fight!" Rarity screams, and I glance at her. She's got her eyes closed, her horn between the bars, "Don't fight!"

I glance back down at Rainbow Dash and pull the cooling metal from her eye. I place it carefully onto its tripod to heat up and stare at it. Rainbow Dash pants and whimpers behind me, sobbing pitifully to herself as he eye fails to open, "What have you done?" she asks pathetically, "What have you done!?"

Rarity begins to sob and Applejack appears in the corner of her cell. Once disfigured, I like to see them more clearly, leaving them in their barred cages. Applejack tries not to sway hers, which I've suspended over Rarity's. Applejack absently runs her fingers over her lips as she stares down at Rainbow Dash emotionless, then turns back to the darkness.

"**Good girl, Applejack.**" I reward her and she stays in the darkness as I look down at Rarity. She's pulling her hair out again, "Rarity, stop it." I reach over and pluck a feather from Rainbow Dash's wings and approach Rarity. She backs away from the bars, her eyes wide as she stares up t me, "Do you want to have this?"

Rarity stares up at me and her eyes widen. She grins and edges to me, reaching out meekly for the feather. I hold it just out of reach and she sits quietly, pulling her hand back and staring into my eyes. Her ears fall flat on her head and she whimpers sadly as I smile at her.

"Remember what you say?" she nods slowly and then speaks, "**Then say it Rarity.**" Of all my experiments, she's one of few who are spoken to by name on a regular basis. The others I prefer to tease and humiliate.

"C-can I p-please have the..the...feather?" she whispers, her chin low and I nod, holding it closer for her. She takes it with her hands, holding her fingers straight and pressing her palms against it.

"Good girl." She smiles to herself as she scoots back and plays with the feather. She's losing herself slowly, much slower then Applejack did.

I walk slowly back to the waiting Rainbow Dash, and pick up the second feather, "What have you done to Rarity?" she asks quietly, panting in pain.

I smirk at her, "**I took the most important thing to her. Her magic.**"

Rainbow Dash stares at me, "You already took my wings..." she whispers and I smile, picking up the red hot prod. She stares at it then closes her eye and sobs.

"**I know...that's why I'm taking your eyes.**" I laugh t the confusion on her face and the anguished frown, "Now, stay...still..." I place the feather over her other eye and then the prod. Her screams echo loudly throughout the dungeon and I smirk again, "That's it!" I yell over her screams, "**Give me what I want!**"

I pull the rod free and she whimpers, sobbing on the table as I lower the mechanism. Her heaqd falls to the side, as I toss the prod carelessly to the metal table and hear it clatter loudly. She jumps suddenly and I smirk.

"Too loud for you?" she whimpers again as I slam my hand on the table beside her ear. She screams and turns her head away, trying to pull free. I laugh at her and grip the edge of the feather I hadn't burnt. She goes rigid, "Don't...move...an-" I pull sharply, hearing flesh tear from the skin and the unburnt feather coming away. She screams as I finish, "An inch!"

I quickly dash around the table as she turns her head from me again and I take this other end in my fingers. With another sharp, sudden tug, it comes away clean and she screams again, wriggling and sobbing. Words seem to have escaped her and I smile. I pull her head up off the table as I use my magic to call over a dirty rag and she whimpers again, trying to break free of my hold.

"Now, now RainbowCrash." She sobs pitifully as I entwine her rainbow striped hair in my fingers and tugging, "**Struggling now will do you no good.**" She goes still as I wrap the rag over her burnt out eyes and tie the knot at the back.

I use my magic to move her back to her cell, dragging her as she stumbles along behind me. She didn't want to rely on me, but now she had to, until she adjusted to her lack of vision. She stumbles through her new cage door and I secure her wrists above her head once more, before weighting down her ankles. Now I could take great pleasure in my binding techniques. I walk around her and pick up a grappling hook from the corner.

"Please...Twilight...leave me alone..." she sobs and lowers her head, hanging limply from her wrists as I kneel in front of her wings. I use my magic to hold her wings straight, then use them to pierce the ends of the grappling hooks through the flesh. She screams and jerks, kicking as Rarity takes interest in us.

"Wha...what are you doing?" she asks softly, her eyes almost blurred with indifference and interest.

I smirk at her and use my magic again to pull the chain of the grappling hook up to the ceiling and secure it. Rainbow Dash's already broken wings strain and twist, and she screams, "I'm testing RainbowCrash's limits." I say calmly, and then I kneel before Rarity, "**Give me your feet." **She obediently sits on her rump and pushes her feet through the bars, "Good girl."

I remove the cuffs from her ankles, taking the weights with me and she grins, "N-no more...?" she asks and I nod. She gleefully bounds back to her mound of hay, picking up her blue feather and playing with it, "Applejack!" she calls and Applejack peers out from her dark corner, "Look!" Applejack nods and taps her cage floor. Rarity nods and passes the feather up, letting Applejack smell it. '_How strange..._' I think to myself, '_They're communicating without words...yet I haven't heard them discuss anything..._' I forcefully attach the weights and Rainbow screams again, now her wings being pulled down with no reprieve.

Rainbow sobs and begs her to stop, Twilight makes a few notes and leaves.

"**Did you want a feather, Dog?**" I ask Applejack who taps on her cell floor. Rarity looks at me and nods for Applejack and I kneel before Rarity, "When did you two decide to talk like this?" I ask her, my notepad beside me.

Rarity frowns and tilts her head sideways, "We...we didn't..." she says softly, "I...I just know what she wants..." Rainbow Dash's feather flutters down to my lap and I hand it to Rarity before she glances up at Applejack, "I...I like the feathers..." she whispers. Applejack taps, "So does App-" she stops herself as I glare at her.

"I'll get the dog her toys." I turned back to Rainbow Dash and plucked several feathers free. Rarity smiled at me as I handed her two feathers and I placed three on Applejack's floor. They slipped out of sight and I heard a muffled laugh followed by excited, fast taps.

Rarity looks at me and grins, "She's really happy..." she says, "She...keeps saying thank you..."

I make notes before stepping out of Rainbow Dash's cell, ignoring her pitiful sobs and I begin rearranging the rest of my subjects. This experiment was going far better than I could have expected.

How could this happen to us? How could we have fallen so far? How could Twilight simply turn on us after all this time? Had we turned from her one too many times? She had seemed to forgive us the wedding incident a bit quick...and she had seemed truly heartbroken. Why had we done that to her? Fluttershy tries talking to her but Rainbow Dash snaps at her and Fluttershy goes silent.

"Rainbow Dash?" I hear Fluttershy in the cell beside mine, and I flatten my ears, "Are...are you okay?" she asks me gently. I missed hearing her sweet, demure voice, the way she used to talk back before this had all started. Before the picnic, before the abductions, before the destruction of our sanity.

"No! I'm not okay!" I scream at her, sobbing angrily, "I'm fucking blind!" Fluttershy goes silent for a moment, "My wings are broken, she's...rigged them somehow and they hurt..._I can never fly again!_"

"Stop screaming at _me_, you stupid bitch!" Fluttershy snaps back, "I didn't fucking do this to you!" Angel titters to her, "Not now, Angel." He titters louder, "I said-!" she goes silent again and she huffs angrily.

"Fluttershy..." I don't hear her reply but she's crying softly, "Fluttershy, I'm sorry..."

"Fuck you, Rainbow Dash. Shove it up your ass." Then she's crying louder.

"You're mean, Rainbow Crash." I hear Rarity say beside me. Why does she sound like a child?

I frown, "And who asked for your fucking opinion?!"

Rarity goes silent, but Fluttershy replies, "And you wonder why Twilight never wanted to spend time with you. Why we always let you practice."

It hits me like a brick. They didn't care if I got in the WonderBolts. They wanted me to stay away from them, "Was I that bad? As a friend?" I ask, sounding a little bit more despondent than I would have liked.

"Yes." Rarity and Fluttershy say in unison and I hear something tap somewhere above me.

"Don't defend her, AJ." Rarity says softly, "You know she was mean to you too." Applejack continues to tap, "But still..." the tapping gets softer, "No...she's being rude for no reason."

I lower my head and sob to myself, feeling more guilty that I ever had in my entire life. There was nothing I could do to repair my friendships, and nothing would ever change the past. I was stuck here in this dungeon with five ponies who couldn't stand me.

How had I managed to fuck up so badly?


	14. Chapter 8: Loss of Self

**Chapter 8**

**Loss of Self**

The darkness was like a leech, invading my soul and trying to drink of my sanity, but I would not fall prey to the same fate as Rarity and Applejack...they were so complacent, so willing to obey Twilight it sickened me. That whore had taken everything I had ever been and destroyed it. I hear her enter the main chamber now, the excited squeal and greeting from Rarity, the furious tapping of Applejack. Even the frightened whimper of Rainbow Dash. How far that Pegasus had fallen...how far she was yet to fall...

I was not going to give in, not without a proper fight.

Beside me I hear Fluttershy breathing, hard and slow, concentrating on the footsteps of Twilight as hard as I tried not to. Angel titters with her, and angry and strange melody in the darkness that surrounded me, "Fluttershy?" I whisper and the patient Pegasus I had called a friend does not answer, "Fluttershy?" I whisper again, louder. This time she simply grunts in pain and her breathing quiets again. I had hoped she would not fall next, I could not bear the thought of her demise...but...those footsteps...their coming toward me.

Am I next? Am I the fourth to be subjected? No...I had been subjected before...but was I to be the fourth mutilated? I couldn't bear the thought of what would befall me. Not now. Not now. The footsteps cease at my cell door, where the darkness penetrates and throbs like a human heart. I close my eyes although it does not need to be said that it made no difference.

Applejack cries out in pain, her screams muffled by the wire that held her mouth tight shut. Poor AJ...so strong and proud...stubborn even...subjected to such great pain that she now acts like Twilight's pet. A pet for goodness sake! The screams end as abruptly as they had begun, as though she were afraid of a creature that Rarity had not seen.

The light pierces the darkness and a dark form stands in the doorway. She is clean and stands straight, a day she would deem a good one. She seems to be smiling at me, her eyes nothing but two pinpoints of white light. She doesn't speak but I force myself to glare at her even as the pain from the light pierces my skull and I hiss at her.

"Oh...Pinkie..." I almost snarl at her, "Curled up in your corner like a frightened foal..." she grins, her teeth reflecting as points of light in two rows, "**I could just snap your fucking neck, right now...**" Her statement seems to surprise her and her grin dies. Her ears twitch and I look away. I didn't want to look at her face, the eyes that had betrayed me so easily and deceived us so readily.

I don't give her an answer, something she had hoped I would do, it seemed. She walks in, invading my territory and takes every ounce of willpower not to snarl at her. She wanted me to, she wanted me to retaliate. Like an angry wolf I growl at the wall, flattening my ears on my head.

She grins at me, "**Up.**" Magic wraps around my hair and drags me painfully to my feet. I know not to lash out but she pulls me close and I bare my teeth like the animal I had become. I feared falling to the depths of insanity...but had I already plummeted that far? She seemed to ask herself the same question but it was instantly quashed, "**Now, now, slut. None of that.**" She smirks at me as I clench my fists. She wraps my hands in magic, forcing them shut. The scratch on her forehead still told me she was wary of my sharp nails. I snarl at her, "**I said stop.**" My mouth is closed painfully tight, my teeth grinding against each other, "**Better.**" She whispers as she steps out, dragging me with her.

She still keeps her distance though, something I was proud of. She wasn't going to rape me like she had Fluttershy...suddenly a deep pain wells in my chest. Poor Fluttershy...so...small...and so kind... What could Fluttershy have done to possibly earn this kind of treatment. She never raised a hoof against anyone unless she was misguided too...like that stupid minotaur...

Twilight drags me to the familiar rack, but this time the apparatus is gone...instead a hole awaits. Was I to suffer more water torture? Or was this different? I fight her for every inch as she takes me to the wooden table and even push back against the table as she forces my feet to leave the ground. I snarl and growl angrily as her magic leaves my mouth.

I hear Rarity behind me, "What have you become, Pinkie?" she asks, her voice still as smooth and dainty as the day I had met her.

I snarl again and kick back at Twilight. I miss and she forces me onto my hands and knees for a moment, "**Behave.**" She says harshly, slapping me on the buttock. I yelp and snarl again. My hands are forced forward, snapped into the shackles, but my feet remain where they are. So exposed..., "**I said **_**behave**__."_ she says again and hits me again.

"T-Twilight?" I hear Rainbow Dash, "Wh-what have you done t-to P-Pinkie?"

Twilight snaps my ankles into place and forces my head down into the hole, "Not now, Rainbow Crash." She says softly, before fastening a collar around my neck, beneath the table. Two poles protrude from the collar, preventing me from lifting my head back out of the hole, "**This one needs to become one of us...**"

She pulls at my shirt, which I've tried my best not to get torn or tattered. It had meant everything to me to hide my Cutie Marks...since Twilight had been so obsessed with them. Now she exposes them, stroking each bright coloured balloon before tearing my shirt away.

"**You won't need this anymore.**" She says with a light chuckle which was darker than my cell had been, "**Or this.**" She continued, tearing away my shorts... Now I was truly exposed...

"Don't you fucking dare." I snarl, imagining her raping me. All I had done after Fluttershy's first was beg her not to rape me. I twist my wrists in the shackles.

"**What?**" she asks, running her hand up my bare back, "**What shouldn't I do?**"

She wants me to tell her but I refuse, locking my jaw tight and watching Rarity. She is pressed to the bars, two bright blue feathers in hand, watching us intently. Is that...curiosity in her eyes?

"**Do **_**what**_**, Pinkie?**" she asks again, jamming a finger up into my nether region. I snarl and buck, stretching muscles that wouldn't budge and fighting shackles that wouldn't release me, "**Oh...that?**" she asks.

"I'll fucking kill you, you hear me?" I yell, "I'll fucking kill you!"

"But Pinkie..." she seems to return as herself, "I thought we were friends..." the pain in her voice strikes me as nothing but sarcasm and hurtful irony.

"You're not a friend!" I scream back at her, "You're destroying us! You're mutilating us!" I thrash, "What kind of friend does that?!"

She removes her finger and laughs at me, "**Pinkie...you really aren't very bright...**"

"Don't fucking call me stupid." I snarled, "I know you aren't really Twilight, you nameless bitch." This shut her up for a moment. She thought I was stupid, thought that I didn't understand all her hints. I'm not as stupid as I make myself seem! It's just...it's easier to deal with...betrayal if they think I...I don't understand.

"**Well, in that case...**" she laughs and picks something up from a table, "**I don't doubt that you'll kill me...the question is...**" I stare at her knees, which is all I can see of her from my heads position at the table, "**...if it'll really happen...physical or imaginary.**"

"You fucking slu-" suddenly a sharp pain crackles through me and lights flutter behind my eyes. Screams tear from me as a million jolts of fire rattle through my body in rapid succession, taking me up and up and up. The lights stop for mere moments before they begin again, the burning on a different part of my body. Lights shattering behind my eyes, like glass breaking over and over and then they stop again. I think only of breathing, of keeping the rhythm up, of staying out of the darkness within my mind.

...the only darkness I can't stand.

I hear her laugh as the third burst hits me. Lights burst, my brain screams at me to make it stop...or did I say that? My muscles twitch uncontrollably and I hear another scream...it's not me...is that Fluttershy?

"Stop it, Twilight! Or Sparkle! Or whoever the fuck you are!" she thumps against something, "If you want to hurt someone, then fucking come over here!"

Twilight...or Sparkle...laughs, "I don't have to do anything to you yet..._**Sweetie**__."_ That one word...that one word shut up Fluttershy in mere moments.

As I try to think straight, concentrating on the black behind the sparks of light still flashing behind my eyes, I hear Sparkle breathing in my ear.

"**You...have the best...Cutie Mark...**" I twist my wrists, "**Maybe...I'll take them...**"

"No!" I scream at her as I feel something slide beneath my skin. It glides through me, it takes from me, but it doesn't burn until the blade is sliding up toward my chest. It burns so brightly behind my eyes, it stings like nothing I had ever felt before. I couldn't stand the pain and I screamed for what felt like eternity.

The blade turned slowly, making an arch back down to my hips and I feel my thighs twitching from the pain. She laughs at me as I scream, feeling blood slide down my hip as the blade slid away from me. Sparkle is still laughing at me as I feel a sharp pain fold under my skin, "What are you doing?!" I scream at her, jerking my wrists as the pain takes it's toll, "What the fuck are you doing?!"

Sparkle doesn't laugh this time, instead she pulls, and I realise what she's doing. My Cutie Marks...her obsession...she was stealing what I truly was. She was finally going to take the last piece of me that I held onto. What would happen to me when she was-

She jerks on the skin, tearing a piece off roughly and I shriek in pain, the burning running from my thigh to my side and up to my chest. She pulls again, the burning spreads to my back and down my thigh as she tugs one last time. This time it tears free and the burning starts in the patch of fresh, raw flesh.

I'm crying and screaming, jerking and twitching in pain, but all I can seem to concentrate on is the pain itself. I wasn't able to control it or suppress it, which made everything so much worse. What the hell was I supposed to do about it?

She leaves my side for a moment, a moment long enough for me to catch my breath and clear my eyes. Where was she? Where was the stupid bitch-

Her knees appear on my other side. No...no she can't take both...that...that wouldn't make sense. She grips my thigh in her hand, "Twilight...Sparkle..." I speak softly, my throat sore and thick, "Whoever you are and whatever we've done to you..."

Sparkle laughs at me, "**What you ever did? None of you get it yet, do you?**" Sparkle buries the blade back into my thigh and cuts through the skin, "**You're nothing but test subjects.**"

Twilight doesn't even pause to let it hurt. She glides her blade through my skin and flesh, then tears the Cutie Mark roughly from my side. I scream in terrible pain, the burning reaching my back and melding with my old pain. It made it's way up to my shoulders and down to my knees, covering me in a burning pain like nothing I'd ever felt or would feel.

"**Now for the fun bit...**" I pant and choke, trying to ignore her as she makes her way around the table and a hear the clinking of jars. What was this next bit? Was she going to poison me? Death would be nothing but a blessing...

A different pain erupts in my side, a rough, grating pain that spreads like wildfire to my back and stomach. I was going to be sick, or pass out. I wasn't sure which one I was most concerned about, but I wanted to darkness in my mind to take me now. She wasn't going to stop.

The rough pain left me, "**So salt is boring...**" she comments to herself before pouring something hot onto my leg. I scream in pain, "**And acid is...**_**interesting**_**.**"

I felt the darkness wrapping itself around me, I felt the cold of the sleep grip me and pain pushed me toward it, but I didn't fight it. I wanted to hide. I needed to hide. And this was the only way I knew how.


	15. Chapter 9: Loss of Confidence

**Chapter 9**

I could hear her beside me, speaking to Pinkie. I couldn't make out what Twilight was saying to Pinkie, but she was stirring Pinkie up and for fun. I didn't want Pinkie to hurt anyone, but I could tell that she had lost herself. She couldn't tell her enemies from her friends, lashing out at the others and Twilight as though we were one and same.

"I'll kill you!" Pinkie screamed, "I'll fucking kill all of you!"

I frowned as she growled and I heard a loud metallic thud. She was throwing herself against the cell bars and I scooped Angel into my arms, hugging him against my chest. He nuzzled against me and slept on, his paw resting comfortably against the curve of my breast. He has been my faithful companion, even if he was just as angry as Pinkie. He'd seen what Twilight did to me. I didn't blame him.

His long dirt covered ear twitched as he listened to my heartbeat and I stroked his furry head. Twilight had intended for Angel to go crazy, but I suppose animals and myself are a little different to others. Our connection was stronger than it had ever been, but that didn't change much.

"**Well, suffice to say, this test has come almost perfectly.**" I heard Sparkle comment, before laughing at herself, "I'd say so." Twilight responded and I pushed us into a corner. I couldn't stand her voice any more than I could tolerate her looking at me.

Angel woke at the sound of Twilight's voice, his eye opening and ear becoming erect. He listened as intently as I did, tense and still. "She's crazy." He whispered to me and I sighed sadly.

"So are the others." I whispered back, "They've all lost it."

Angel frowned, staring at the cell door, "This won't end well..."

I closed my eyes and held him closer, "I'm afraid you're right."

Twilight's laugh ended, "I do enjoy watching them now more than before." A soft chuckle, "**Yes, but I miss the torture.**" Twilight seemed to shrug off the comment, "But look at them!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly, "They're all so different now! So crazy! So..." she seemed to pause, looking for the right word, "...beautifully insane." She finished with a dark chuckle.

Angel and I exchange glances as Twilight speaks with Rarity for a moment. Beautifully insane? What was that even supposed to mean? Did she think that being insane was a good thing? Was that what she had been reading about all those weeks ago at the picnic? I couldn't bring myself to imagine when and where she had gotten the book, or when she'd started losing it. Had Spike known? He would have told us...unless she did something to him too...

"Ah! Applejack...the first of all my subjects to lose herself..." Twilight says grandly, as though she were presenting us to a crowd of interested scientists, "**The most interesting of all the Severed, but also the most fun.**" Applejack whimpered pitifully from her cage, which I'd seen once. It hung from the ceiling by a single chain, meaning that sudden movement was an absolute no. Applejack had to remain slow and cautious at all times, "**At first it was nothing but starvation.**" Sparkle took over and stepped away, "**Then...then I had to silence you.**" Applejack whimpered again, "**The honesty and stubbornness in you was filthy and disgusting.**" Sparkle continued and Angel frowned, his paw curling into a fist against my breast, "**However, sown lips are becoming on you.**" She teased and laughed, and Applejack replied with further whimpering, "You've become nothing but an abused puppy, sulking about in your cage. I think it's very becoming of you." Twilight added enthusiastically, and clapped excitedly, "**Indeed.**" Sparkle finished.

"Rarity...my first subject but the second to fall..." Twilight started, and I curled my knees close. Rarity had been here the longest, subjected to the most torture, and unfortunately, shared the same insanity traits as Twilight. One moment she was as calm and clean as she had always been, then she was psychotic, screaming about things no one could see and attacking everything and anything in sight. "You are an interesting one." Twilight added, "**Not to mention useless.**" Sparkle added before Twilight continued, "When I severed your magic you changed, significantly. I didn't approve of it for a while, despite being extremely interesting, but now...**Now it's very attractive.**"

"Thank you!" gushed Rarity, who was no doubt still fawning over Rainbow Dash's feathers, "I...I..."

"Shush." Twilight said sharply and Rarity went silent, obeying her mistress. Of all the 'Severed' as Twilight and Sparkle referred to us, she and Applejack were the most obedient. Whether that had anything to do with her experiment or not was yet to be seen, but it bugged me. "Most of all, the psychotic, angry part of you was the most interesting." Twilight trailed off, "**Blindly attacking with no will or thought of your own...a mindless mercenary with no consideration of pain or inkling or remorse...**" Sparkle sounded as though she were crouching before Rarity's cage, "**Turn.**"

Sparkle was silent as Rarity growled, becoming the angry monster. I had expected her to snarl and lose her control as she had in the past, but she simply snarled and Sparkle chuckled. Twilight and Sparkle had more control over Rarity than I thought. Able to control the monster and the 'turning' was one thing, but Rarity's other self resisting attack? Rarity had been here too long...

Twilight turned her attention to a small whimper beside my cell. Being kept in the small, dark room had helped me learn several things. My ears were my most important asset, my nose next. My eyes were useless unless I could see what I was hunting, but that didn't mean much in the dark. Angel looked up at me, as though we were thinking the same thing, and his ear turned, as though listening for danger. I frowned and licked my lips, closing my eyes as Twilight spoke, "Rainbow Crash..." she'd made a note of belittling Rainbow Dash at every chance to the point where Applejack and Rarity now called her Rainbow Crash without second thought. Even I had found myself thinking that on several occasions.

Angel sniffed, "Something's wrong." He whispered and I curled up tighter.

"How?" I whispered back, aware that our voices weren't audible outside our brick walls.

"She...she's parading us..." he crawled from between my breasts to my shoulders and I fidgeted with my hair instead. I liked keeping my hands busy, "She's...trying to show us how much she's done. Like it's a good thing. This has to have a reason."

I nodded silently as Twilight continued, "How far you've fallen!" Twilight cried, laughing like the evil overlords I'd read in books, "Once a mighty and proud beast," I cringed, "Now you barely speak when asked!"

Angel frowned again and shook his head, "She's breaking morale. She's doing this for you, Fluttershy." I lowered my head, "You're expected to break next."

I tried not to cry, but I knew it was going to happen eventually. What would I become? Would I be severed as badly as Rarity? Or would I just be like Rainbow Crash-Dash. Would I be as bad as Rainbow Dash? I was scared to find out...

"**Oh, but breaking you sure was fun. With your wings snapped you couldn't fight at all.**" Sparkle started, laughing crazily, "**Then you were a bit submissive...there was a lot of work to do though.**"

Why was she talking like she'd planned this? Surely this hadn't been how it was intended to happen? It was an experiment afterall, this kind of thing would have taken months, years, to plan. How long had we known Twilight for anyway? A year? Maybe two? Surely that wasn't enough time to plan...

"**Oh my those wings hurt, didn't they?**" Sparkle teased and Rainbow Dash shrieked in pain. Tears sprung to me eyes as Rainbow Dash's screams diminished into pitiful whimpers, "**And now their permentantly disfigured...no more flying for you!" **tears slipped free as I tried to imagine the pain that Rainbow was in. I couldn't. It just wasn't possible to understand. As a cautious pony, I'd never even sprained a muscle.

How could I imagine a broken bone? Let alone broken wings...

"**And now you're blind, finally using those ears of yours and shutting your mouth. I told you that if you didn't ask so many questions and used your eyes, you could have kept them.**" Rainbow whimpered again, "**Didn't I?**"

"Y-yes...y-you did..."

Tears slipped free. She sounded so much like me...the old me...from outside these walls and before I lost my friends. She was so scared...

"**Hm**." Sparkle laughed and sounded as though she were circling Rainbow, "**Restraining you seems almost redundant now...but seeing you hang so limply from those chains on your wrists...**"

I tried to block out the noise of surprised pleasure as I imagined what Twilight had done. She's done it to me so many times, forcing me to do what she wants and how...

"Th-thank you..." Rainbow had fallen a long way too. Thanking her captor for pain was almost as far as Rarity.

"And Pinkie..." And angry growl replied to Twilight's voice, "Such a beautiful example of what insanity can do to the mind." Pinkie snarled angrily, "**With no identity you're just a beast, aren't you?**"

Pinkie didn't flatter her with a response, instead she seemed to stare Sparkle down.

"**You're Cutie Marks gave you a restraint, a need to be fun and adorable, but now you have all this anger to unleash.**" Sparkle laughed and Pinkie continued to ignore her, "**And then, you fell. Lost to the pit of your despair and fury.**"

Pinkie snarled at her this time, "I _will _kill you." She said slowly and deliberately, "I will watch your blood as it spills between my fingers, I will laugh as you scream, I will drink of your blood." She breathes in and growls again, "I will make you suffer as you've made us suffer, I will eat of your flesh, I will rip your still beating heart from your chest and shove it's black flesh down your throat."

Sparkle laughed, amused at Pinkie's words but I could just imagine the passionate fire in those sky blue eyes. I opened my eyes as Angel wiped tears from my cheeks, "Try not to let it in." He offered weakly, although I doubted he believed his own words, "Fluttershy..."

I shook my head as Sparkle spoke up again, "**You still think you will escape that cage to even attempt?**" Sparkle attempted to spread the seeds of despair, but Pinkie didn't seem to want any of that. Or so I thought.

"You stupid bitch. I'll gut you alive. I'll tear you apart. You'll suffer at my hands..." she laughed, "And I'll fucking enjoy it."

Twilight was silent, and seemed to decide that the conversation with Pinkie would go nowhere. Pinkie may have become a sadistic, crazy mess, but she was smart. And she had the toughest skin that I knew of. No other pony, including myself, had ever been through so much pain and turned out as smiley as her.

If only Twilight had of known...maybe she would have spared her.

"**Now, for Fluttershy...the only one of us to defy.**" I whimpered and hid my face behind my hair. What would she do to me this time? It hurt and I was tired of the pain. I was angry too, which never helped with I lashed out at her or Angel, "**I think, that Fluttershy, will be just as violent as Pinkie Pie, but to a different degree, I suppose.**" I frowned and Angel climbed onto my head. He listened to Sparkle as I tried not to, "**I think she'll hate us, all of us, and try to kill everyone.**"

I shook my head, "No, you filthy cunt!" I screamed, the anger bubbling inside me, "I'll kill you and you alone!"

Sparkle simply laughed at me, "**I doubt that, sweetie.**"

Why did she always have to call me that? I stood and paced the room slowly, was I her favourite toy? Did I deserve the treatment I was recie-

The cell lock whine as it was turned and I jumped, spinning to the door as it creaked open. She was standing there, illuminated in light, bathing in a halo she didn't deserve. Her long straight hair is still folded over her shoulders. Had she been getting more controlled? She wasn't a twitching, flickering mess of facial expressions and giggling. She actually looked normal...until she stepped in.

I could see her eyes, one bright purple and the other...it was as though her iris had been cut in half and the colours had changed. The top part of her iris was the same purple as her other eye, but the bottom half...it was as red as blood.

Fluttershy is raped repeatedly, fighting as much as she can, even as Twilight binds her, beats her and emotionally traumatises her.

Twilight bears down on me as I stand before her. She smiles gently, her face still as pale as the skin on my stomach. How long had it been since she'd been in here? Not long enough. I back off a little as I hear Angel past my feet and bury himself in the haystack. I had begged him to do so from day one. I didn't want him to see, didn't want anyone to see...

Twilight grins at me, "Fluttershy, sweetie, don't back away from me."

The room is simply too small and my back hits the wall. I wanted her to leave me alone, I didn't want her to touch me. Her eyes burned into my skin as she looked down, admiring me in her own way. I spread my hands over my exposed stomach as my rags covered the very last things I wanted hidden. She licked her lips as she continued to walk at me, and I hid behind me hair.

"Don't touch me..." I said softly as she continued toward me, "Don't touch me..." I repeated, a little louder.

She stood so close to me I could smell the blood on her and she smiled as she met my eyes, "**And what will you do if I **_**do**_** touch you?**" she whispered.

I swallowed and met her eyes, "I'll kick your ass." I hissed in a low voice and she laughed.

"**I doubt that.**" She replied, even though I'd almost succeeded in escaping many times. She ignored me and raised her hand, trailing her fingers over my side and up to my ribs. I snarled and lunged at her, knocking her off her feet and onto her back.

I heard her head hit the floor, making a god awful cracking noise, but I didn't waste time. I leapt off her before she'd even lay still and flicked my wings, propelling me forward. I was out of the cell as quick as lightning and I knew Angel was on my heels.

"Fluttershy!" she exclaimed, "Don't disobey Twilight!"

I ignored her and dashed straight to Pinkie's cage, gripping the bars just as Twilight's magic wrapped around my ankles. I knew she was going to pull and pull, so I grabbed the door of Pinkie's cage. She turned to me with a snarl, but it stopped as soon as she saw me. Her blue eyes widened as I held her gaze and felt Twilight pulling on me, "I'm sorry, Pinkie..." I whispered.

"Fluttershy?" she bounded to the door and moved to hold my wrists.

"No, let her pull." I whispered and she frowned, crouching on all fours again.

"I'm sorry, Flutter..." Pinkie whispered, "I...I wish I could help."

I winked at her as the cage door whined, "You are." She blinked at me twice as the door gave way and Twilight continued to pull. I was propelled toward her but her magic released me. I flicked my wings, barely dodging the door as I was propelled upward.

Pinkie was out of her cage faster than I had even imagined. She was smiling up at me and I heard the cell door crash against my cell. I hovered for a moment and turned as the door crashed back toward us, wrapped in the purple aura of Twilight's magic. Pinkie was bounding toward Twilight on her fours and I dove for the door, pushing it out of Pinkie's way as Twilight attempted to throw it at her.

Pinkie snarled as she leapt at Twilight, knocking the girl back. I hit the wall with the door, hitting the floor and feeling the heavy metal crash down on top of me. I heard Pinkie shriek, flying toward me and hitting the wall above me.

I coughed as Pinkie hit the door on top of me, crushing me beneath it. I whimpered and she leapt off, racing back at Twilight, but she was thrown back at me as I tried to get up. Again I was crushed beneath her and I coughed weakly.

Pinkie dragged me out and pushed me away from Twilight as Twilight slammed her with the door, and I flicked my wings, launching my attack from behind. I grabbed her horn in my hands, holding it tight and pulling back, hoping it would snap in my hands, then we would be free...

Finally free...

A bright light blinded me and I was thrown backwards. I felt a hard surface at my back, I think it was a wall, and slide down, falling onto my face as my knees crumple beneath me. I lay still for a moment as I hear Pinkie and Twilight fighting, but by now I know it's futile. Pinkie is determined to win, and I force myself onto my hands and knees, looking up at Twilight.

Pinkie sees the defeat in my eyes and she fights harder. She understands how I feel, why I feel this way so quickly. I can't help it, after all Twilight has done to me over my time here, I don't feel all that confident.

Pinkie is sent my way, crashing down beside me as I flick my wings to help me stand. I didn't want Twilight to look at me, to read my defeat, "Don't look at me!" I scream, sitting in a small ball and covering my eyes, "Don't look at me!"

Twilight laughs, "**If you did what you were told to, I wouldn't have to be here now, would I?**"

I whimpered as Pinkie growled, preparing for another lunge and Twilight caught her in magic, tossing her at her cage. Pinkie hit the bars at the back hard, yelping like a dog and dropping to the floor as Twilight picked up the cage and set it right. By then I was creeping to my cell, but Twilight stopped me.

"**I don't fucking think so.**" With her magic wrapped around my ankle she dragged me to her. I screamed and clawed desperately at the stone ground, flicking my wings to get away.

Her magic forced me to stand, my back against her chest as her arm wrapped around my neck, "Don't, please, don't..."

She laughed and dragged me toward her rack. I didn't want to go on that, not in front of everyone, not this time. She dragged me past it, toward a cruel looking hook that hung from the ceiling. She gripped my hair and forced me to pull my chin up, "**See that, sweetie?**" I shuddered at the cold, calculating tone in her voice, even as she called me sweetie. I nodded quietly and she pressed her lips close to mine. The thing flicked on it own as she whispered, "**Next time you pull something like that...**" I whimpered and she tightened her arm, "**I'll string Pinkie from it upside down, you fucking hear me?**"

I nodded and she forced me to my knees, and I whimpered, feeling her magic wrap around my wrists and force me to lay flat. I twisted onto my back as she pulled a thin piece of rope from a shelf and stretched it in her hands, "No, Twilight, no."

She laughed again, using her magic to bind my wrists together above my head, then pulled me to my feet, "**I only intended one going once tonight, letting you rest, like I normally do.**" I whimpered as she spread my legs, "**But I'm afraid there's been a change of plans.**"

I whimper as she turns back to her shelf and pulls a bar with shackles on the end towards us, "No!" I scream, using my wings to support me as I pull myself up, "Not that!"

She uses her magic to pull on an ankle, clicking the shackle around it before hitting me in the stomach. I drop from my arms, straining the sockets and crying out in pain. She simply secures my second my ankle and stretches the bar. I sob sadly as she reaches up beneath my rags and strokes her finger over the hood of flesh.

I didn't want this, I never had. Why did she have to do this to me? She grabs a familiar object from the shelf, but I looked away, trying to pull my wrists free. She forces it deep into me, filling me and securing it was the harness. My wrists slipped free and I wobbled before her, falling toward her but she let me fall. I cried softly as she turned away, picking up a pair of shackles and clicking them into place. She pulled me up, forcing me to lean against her and I looked up at her.

She didn't speak, but put my hands on her shoulders, letting me cling to her as she studied my eyes, "I told you, from the start, that I didn't want to hurt you." I lower my head and whimper, "But you're fighting, you insistence on testing my patience..."

I shake my head, "No, Twilight, no that's not it!"

Sparkle returned, gripping my arms and forcing me upright, her face pressed close to mine as I wobbled on my feet, "**Then what is it?**" she growled.

I sobbed as she gripped me tight, "You were our friend and you betrayed us...I thought I could get you help..." I feel her grip relax, "Please stop hurting us..."

I trail off into sobs as she puts my arms back down on her shoulders, this time holding her face just centimetres from my face. I look up at her, tears still streaming my face and she runs her hands down my back, "If you do what I ask, it won't hurt." She whispers in return, cupping the back of my head with her hand, "I've told you that before."

Her voice trails off and I watch as she lowers her face to mine, pressing her lips against my slightly parted mouth. I'd learnt a few things, including keeping my mouth slightly open. If I jammed it closed, I ended up with bite marks, welts and bruises elsewhere from her forcing me to open my mouth.

Her hot tongue dives into my mouth as she steps closer to me, wrapping her arms around me and holding me upright. I didn't want to kiss her back, and she never asked me to, so I remained as dead still as I could, feeling her hold on me tighten.

Eventually she pulls back, looking at me through her lashes as I stare at her, "**You may not want us, but we want you.**" Sparkle whispers, her hand trailing down my back and cupping my ass in her hand firmly.

"It hurts..." I whisper pitifully as she takes my arms and locks them on the hook above my head, "I don't want you to hurt me..."

She chuckles, "**I know**." She shakes her head and bends down, picking up the spreader bar and forcing me to bend my knees. I hang from my hands, whimpering as she drags me toward the open area.

"No! Twilight! Sparkle! No!" I shriek as the hook follows her and she places my feet down where my friends could all see me. Pinkie looks up at me sadly from her cell, "Don't look at me." I yell at them, "Don't look at me!" I scream and fight violently.

Twilight came up behind me and wrapped a blindfold over my eyes, "**Now you can't see them looking at you**." I whimper and shriek in fear as her hands travel to my hips and back to my ribs. I sob as her hands travel up to my chest and cup my breasts in her hands, "**You're so full...**" she whispers.

I shake my head and sob, "Don't...not in front of them..." I lower my head and my knees give in, "Anything, anywhere, but not here..."

Sparkle promptly spanked me and I cried out, "This is punishment." She replied and then she kissed me, "**Don't fight it.**"

I whimpered as she met my lips again, taking me completely and I gave in.

The bar is released from my ankles and I hang limply, panting weakly as she unshackles my hands. I fall to my hands and knees, shaking and falling onto my stomach. Twilight walks around me, packing her things up before kneeling beside me, "Fluttershy."

"I...wanna...sleep..." I pant weakly, and Twilight pushes my hair away from my neck.

"Then go to your cell." She says and I look up at her. She looks up at my open cell and straightens, "**Or I'll take you in there and you know what that means.**"

I whimper and try to get up, but my arms fail me and Twilight shakes her head. I sob pitifully, feeling the gazes of my friends burning through my skin and she picks me up, taking me into my cell. She lays me on my back and spreads my legs around her, "I...I'm too...tired..." I whisper.

She leans down, "**I doubt that.**" She whispers in response and kisses my navel. I arch slightly as her finger dig inside me and I gasped, "**I'm going to love you like you've never been loved or ever will be.**"

I sob as she bites inside my thigh and buried her face between my legs. I didn't want to take it, I didn't want to accept my fate, but if it meant she would leave me alone, if it meant they wouldn't look at me...then I would.

She'd left me to myself for a long time, and I was curled up in the corner. I was resting my head on the wall, my knees pulled tight with Angel resting snugly in my arms. His soft breathing was a comfort to me as I tried not to cry. He isn't asleep, but knows I don't want to talk, so he simply stays quiet.

I fight tears again as the door opens, "Fluttershy-"

"Don't touch me...don't look at me..." Twilight moves to walk into the cell, "Don't...don't come near me..."

"**I'll do what I want-**"

I lose control, leaping at her and lashing out. I didn't know what I was doing, I just wanted to get my point across. I watch her as I grab for her hair and she slams the door closed. I slam into metal, screaming at her and clawing at the door, before I step back.

"Fluttershy." Angel whispers, and I turn to him, covering my eyes and falling my knees. He bounds over to me and rests his paws on his knees, looking up at me, "You're gonna be okay, Fluttershy."

I shake my head and sweep him up into my arms, bounding back to my corner and curling up, "No...no, it's not going to be okay..." I whisper to him, "They all saw, they all watched..." I shake my head and sob.

Angel frowns at me as I sob and cry myself to sleep. This wasn't the first time she'd done this to me, and I had a feeling it was going to be the last. She hadn't expected me to attack her. I told her not to look at me. I warned her. I won't warn her again.

No one will look at me. Ever. Except Angel.


	16. Chapter 10: Awakening

_**Author's Note:**_

_Hey, don't usually do author's notes, but I want you all to know that in the next few chapters, quite a few OC's will be coming into play. This is so I can keep the story fresh and changing in the direction I want it to. Don't fret, these character's wont be staying longer than they need to and won't corrupt the story or character's at all. Please don't post about them. It'll be redundant._

**Chapter 11**

The room slowly came into focus before me, morphing from a blur into a clear image of what I didn't want to see again. I had thought it was all a dream, a twisted, messed up dream. But it was all real, and it replayed in my head once again.

I closed my eyes, pressing my ears to my head, covering the red fur with my messed up hands and tried not to cry. I didn't want to cry, I was stronger than this. I didn't want this. I'd never wanted this. I wanted it to stop, I wanted to be free, to see the sunlight and to feel the wind through my hair again.

And even though I expected her to come back, she never did.

Slowly I managed to gain some courage and sat up, staring out through the bars and realised they were wide open. Where was she? Wasn't she supposed to be 'testing' us some more? Or had I snapped already?

I heard nothing but a faint screeching in the distance, followed by heavy stumbling steps above me. There were people here, but Sparkle was gone. Or was it Twilight now? I shook my head, it didn't matter. What mattered was getting the fuck out of here as soon as possible.

I forced myself to stand, feeling uneasy and stiff. I'd been out of it for a long time, doing what? I wasn't sure. But I knew I must have done some terrible things, even if I didn't remember what.

Then it hit me. Who was I? Where was I? I knew the name Sparkle, and Twilight and I understood everything I saw, but I didn't remember faces, voices...everything I knew should have been there wasn't.

I frowned and looked down at myself, hoping I would have something to go by and find out more about myself. Instead I was horrified by what I saw, but at the time I had no idea why. I was built like a body builder, which I understand now was heavy with muscles. I remember finding blood all over my front and I realised too late that I was completely naked. The worst part was I knew I had hurt someone in the worst way...there was blood all over my dick.

I gagged for a moment, as though I was horrified by the thought of raping someone and I had to force the uneasiness away. I rubbed my ears, feeling the stained pelt and the hardened dots of blood. I naturally had a dark red pelt, but I knew that the blood on my pelt was still visible.

The strangest thing was I expected to find marks on my hips but I saw none. Was it normal to find markings on my body? I supposed not since I didn't have any and I walked slowly to the wide open cell door.

Had Sparkle...Twilight...opened it? Was it something I was supposed to know or understand? All these questions were going to give me a headache...

I gripped the old rusty bars as I stumbled out, trying to find support as I walked and felt my eyes adjust to the darkness beyond the cell. Where the hell was I?

I stumbled through the halls, finding nothing but a long and empty corridor. Some of the brickwork looked fairly new, as though some of the cells were walled up but I didn't want to know the truth, not yet.

The most persistent and annoying question in my mind was, 'Who the fuck am I?' Over and over the question repeated itself. Who had I been? Where had I lived? I assumed it was normal to have ears atop my head, and I remembered the colour of my pelt but I couldn't remember a name or a face.

I stumbled further down the corridor and I saw a distant light. Was it a torch? Was it the outside? As I stumbled I noticed it was a door with light shining through the barred window, "Hello?!" I called down the hall.

It echoed painfully in my ears, like a ringing bell that I wanted to stop. I heard a loud scream come from behind the door, "You fucking whore!" I froze and leant against the wall, rigid with fear. I knew that voice, I saw bright blue eyes in my head and I started to pant in fear. I was afraid of the faceless voice, with bright blue eyes filled with anger and rage.

"Hello?" I called again, moving forward and I heard a shriek of pain. I hesitated, stumbling forward slower than before, but I paused outside the door. The light that shone from the door stung my eyes and I blinked it back.

"I'll fucking kill you..." I heard a deep growl, "I'll fucking kill you, Twilight..." again that name caused a ripple of fear and the voice was deep with anger.

"Hello?" I called again, slowly easing the door open. I saw the thin girl sitting in the middle of the room with her back to me, her long pink hair trailing down her back in straight lines. She was shaking, her pale skin marked with scars and burns, "Hi...uh..."

Her ears twitched, the pale pink pelt stained with blood and flesh, "Twilight...Sparkle..." I froze solid as she repeated the name in a distant, sad voice, "No..."

"I'm...I'm not Twilight..." I repeated, slipping into the room and keeping the door open. If I was going to run, I wanted a door I knew was open. Her ear twitched again in response and she snarled, throwing herself forward, turning and crouching before me. I wasn't expecting the face to be familiar and a name pestered me, "Pinkie..." I whispered even though the name meant nothing to me.

"Twilight has to die..." she said to herself even as she stared at me, her pink ears flat against her head and I raised my hands in surrender, "The fucking whore has to fucking die!" she screamed and leapt at me like a feral animal, I gripped her hands in mine and pushed back off the wall, reacting on instinct.

We fell to the ground, I pinned her hands to the ground and she struggled, spreading her legs beneath me. Before I knew what I was doing, I felt a hot tightness around me and I froze solid. She was staring at me, still and calm, her eyes wide and focussed. As though it had awoken her she started to shake and her lip shook, "I'm...I'm sorry..." I whispered but she started to shake her head.

"Twilight...no..." I released her hands and leant on them. She closed her eyes, pressing her hands to my chest and feeling the hair that grew that grew between my pecks. She opened her eyes again, tears swimming behind her eyelids, "T-Twilight?" she whispered and met my eyes.

I shook my head and her mouth opened, trembling, "Pinkie Pie?" I asked her and she nodded, "Are you okay?"

She shook her head again, her hands travelling to my hips and pushing, "D-Don't...A-ashen...d-don't..."

I frowned, "Ashen?" I tilted my head and she stared up at me, "Is that who I am?" her eyes widened and I stroked her cheek, "I don't want to hurt you, Pinkie...honest. I just...I reacted when you leapt at me and I...I don't remember much."

She frowned sadly, "Ashen...please..." she pushed again and tears bloomed in her eyes.

I gently removed myself from her and she sighed, shuddering in relief and her hands covered her chest instead. I let her pull her knees close and squeeze her thighs closed, closing her eyes and breathing slowly, "Pinkie, I'm sorry...really..."

"I-I know." She smirked, "I...I wasn't expecting that...it...scared me out of it..."

"Out of it?" I asked and leant back, sitting flat on my rump as she looked at me and sat up, "The insanity?" She nodded silently and looked down at herself. Tears bloomed in her eyes and she ran her fingers over the blood on her chest.

"I saw Twilight everywhere. No matter how many times I killed her, no matter how many times she lay still beneath me and no matter how many times I tore her apart, she was somewhere else. She was always just as scared of me, always just as afraid and always just as hurt when I tore her apart with my bare hands." Her face crumpled as she stared at her hands and covered her face, bursting into tears.

"I...Pinkie...I don't know what to say." She looked up at me, her bright blue eyes swimming in tears.

"You're lucking enough to have forgotten. You don't have to deal with the guilt. You-"

I shook my head, "No. I have the guilt, I have the remorse, I have the anger and betrayal and pain, but I have no idea why." She frowned and tears slid from her face, "But if there's any way I can help you, please tell me."

She crawled over to me slowly, and rested against my chest, curling herself up into a tight ball and stared at a wall beside us. On instinct, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her tight, resting my lips on her hair and rocked her. We were silent as she came to terms with what she had done, and who had saved her.

I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, but there was one thing worse than the truth of despair. It was false hope.

Pinkie Pie

I didn't want to pull away from the warmth of Ashen Cinders, even if he didn't really remember who he was and the things he'd done. I still felt that he was lucky but I could tell it tore him apart that he didn't know what he'd done. I closed my eyes and sighed as I remembered the things I'd done. They were no longer Twilight in my head. Her eyes weren't purple but a multitude of colours, her screams of pain were many different voices, she was men and women and children. She was still torn apart, she still screamed, but she was different colours, different shapes and different faces.

_I leapt at her, grabbing her by the hair as she searched to find a door. I slammed her into the brick wall, hearing her sharp cry of pain and the lantern in her hand fell to the ground shattering. Her knees failed but I slammed her head into the wall again and tossed her to the ground behind me, "Why the fuck won't you die?!"_

_Twilight tried to back away from me, unable to see me and I leapt onto her waist, "Don't! Leave me alone!"_

_I punched her in the jaw, knocking her out for a moment. I wanted her to scream, I wanted her to go through the pain again, I wanted her to bleed through my fingers. I dragged her to the other corpse, removing the stakes in their hands and knelt over her, hammer in my other hand._

_As soon as she started coming to I grabbed her arm, prepared the stake and hit the end._

I didn't want to know what I'd done. The scream still echoed through my head and I glanced at the pile of corpses in the corner. The stakes were still there, protruding from her hands and I tried to quell my tears. Ashen stroked my hair, whispering in my ear and still rocking us, "Pinkie..."

I sniffed and looked up at him, staring into his soft eyes, "Ashen...I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." He said calmly, stroking my cheek again, "As soon as we get out we'll get some proper help. I promise."

"They'll think we're crazy-"

"We were." He said simply and I frowned, closing my eyes, "Hey, hey..." he said softly and wrapped his arms around me again, "We need the help." He said, "We'll never get past it if we don't get it."

I nodded, sniffing and pressed myself against him, "I'm glad you found me, Ashen..." he froze solid, "I don't know how I would have coped if I regained my sanity and it turned out one of the girls had found me."

I froze as an image made an appearance in my head. Ashen tried to regain my attention, "What is it?"

_Fluttershy's screams echo through my ears, and I slam against the bars of the cell, "Leave her alone!"_

_Fluttershy's terror breaks my heart, "No! Twilight, it hurts! Stop, please!"_

_I slam against the cell over and over, trying to break the lock as Rarity studies me curiously and Applejack remains silent. I couldn't let her hurt Fluttershy until I heard an angry snarl._

"_Don't touch me!" Fluttershy shrieked and I heard Twilight cry out in pain. Fluttershy managed to stumble out of the cell, looking around the room and covering her ears, "Don't look at me!" she stumbled around in the light, staring at people we couldn't see, "Stop looking at me!"_

"Pinkie?" Ashen was calling to me, "Pinkie?!"

I shook my head and looked up at him, realising we were lying down again. He was leaning over me, keeping his waist well away from me, "A-ashen?"

"You had me scared for a moment, Pinkie..." he frowned, "You started slamming yourself against the door and screaming."

I teared up again, "I'm sorry..."

He shook his head, "Stop being sorry. We aren't okay yet." He leant back and helped me sit up, "Well...I suppose we need to move on."

I stared at him, "But...we need-"

He frowned and sighed, "We need to get help. We aren't going to recover ourselves in here, Pinkie. There's no way we can possibly be sane and normal again." He closed his eyes, "Not in here."

I nodded, slowly trying to stand, but I felt pain on my sides. I glanced down and burst into tears. Where my Cutie Marks had rested I saw patches of skin, skin that wasn't my own in crude balloons of different coloured pelts.

_I wanted to be me again...I need to be me again. I tore off the girls ear while she lay unconscious, finding a shard of glass and making a misshapen balloon. With a needle and wire, I began sewing it on over the patch of skin that wasn't mine, the patch I knew Twilight had given me._

_I wanted my marks back, I was going to get them back. This was the only way I couldn't think of. I was going to be me again, and I would party as soon as I had slaughtered the last of the Twilight's._

_The girl screamed and whimpered, pinned beneath the stakes and missing an ear. I finished my stitching, grabbed the needle and spread her knees._

_She shrieked as I blacked out._

Even in my insanity I didn't remember what I had done to her. When I looked at her I could see the needle and I frowned. How could I do that to someone? She had died slowly, in incredible pain, but I had let her, I had caused her to.

"Pinkie?" I pulled myself away from Ashen and moved to the corpse of the girl, "What are you doing?"

I brushed my finger over the poor girl, feeling the stitching under my fingers. She looked as though she had found peace, even if I had mutiliated her beyond recognition.

_She shrieked as I pierced the needle through her eyelid, "I told you I would do it...You did this to her..."_

"_I did it to who?!" she screamed, tears rolling from her eyes as I straddled her throat and used my legs to hold her head still._

"_Rainbow Dash...you blinded Rainbow Dash..." I said, pulling the wire through and piercing her lower lid. She screamed again, "I'll never forgive you, Twilight Sparkle..."_

_She lay still and motionless as I pierced the needle through her lips. Twilight would suffer the way we had, understanding what it felt like. Rainbow Dash blinded...she was blind. Rarity had her horn snapped, I snapped hers. Applejack couldn't talk...I stitched her mouth shut too. Fluttershy had been raped, over and over and over...I shoved pieces of glass into her and stitched that shut too. She'd screamed so much then. She'd passed out now, unable to even comprehend what she'd done._

_When she woke up, I was going to cut off her Cutie Marks...then cut out her heart like she cut mine out._

"Alright, let's get out of here." I felt Ashen wrap his arm around my waist and hoist me up, dragging me to the door.

"I'm sorry!" I screamed at the corpses, all who had suffered the same fate, "I'm so sorry!"

Ashen opened a door, holding me with one arm and walked us out, slamming the door shut and blocking out the images of the people I had killed. I stared at the wooden surface, shaking and panting as he stood behind me.

"Pinkie?" I nodded when he called to me and I wrapped my arms around my chest, "Breathe."

"I...I am..." I stammered and turned to him, "I'm sorry..."

He cupped my face and then wrapped me in his arms, "I know." He said softly, holding me tight, "I am too."

I ignored the fact we were naked, and pulled my arms close to his chest and felt his heartbeat beneath my hand. I couldn't keep the tears back anymore, sobbing against his chest as he rested his cheek on my head. He didn't speak to me, knowing that I wanted to work through it myself.

And I wanted some quiet.


	17. Chapter 11: Strange Things

**Chapter 12**

Ashen Cinders

She'd been sleeping for hours...poor thing. Seeing what she had, remembering all the things she'd done...I didn't blame her for crying herself to sleep. I wanted to go find some clothes for the two of us, but she made me promise not to leave her. I'd promised and now I was wondering how she could possibly sleep in this cold.

It had bothered me at first, but now it was under my skin and I hated it. Pinkie slept peacefully on her side, curled almost tight into a small ball, her hand resting in front of her face. She looked peaceful, but her hears were flat against her head and she twitched a lot. I didn't understand how she slept.

I was shit scared of this place. It was dark everywhere, I kept hearing noises, like footsteps above me, and a strange, faint screaming. I was so on edge I didn't know if I could keep still any longer than I already had.

Pinkie gasped in sharply, causing me to jump and she slowly raised herself from the floor. She looked around dazed and confused, rubbing her eye and yawning, before she finally sat up and stretched. I tried to avoid looking but I stole another curious glance at Pinkie's rather bountiful bosom.

Her eyes were closed as she stretched, and I forced myself to look away as she relaxed. She clicked her mouth a few times, as though sanity and wakefulness had a taste, and she grunted softly. I swallowed nervously, and she moved onto her hands and knees.

Rather ungraciously, I glanced back at her, and blushed at what I saw. She was crawling toward me, her long pink hair falling gracefully over her shoulders and dragging along the floor. She looked up at me tiredly, even yawning a little before sitting beside me. She rubbed her forehead tiredly and offered me a weak smile, "How long was I out?" she asked me, her voice almost a whisper.

I smiled weakly back at her, crossing my legs to hide the growing want and avoiding eye contact, "You slept for quite a while..." she frowned at me, "Don't really have a sense of time in this place..."

She laughed, and it sounded like a hiccup, but the look she gave me was one of shock and almost total horror. I frowned, "I...I laughed..." she grinned, looking up at me, "I-I laughed!"

I stared at her for a moment, "What...what does that have to do with anything?"

She stared at me like I'd dropped off the ceiling, "Well...before all of this happened, I bore the Element of Laughter..." she grinned and looked down at the floor, timidly twirling a piece of her hair, "I hadn't laughed in so long..." she whispered and smiled to herself.

"I take it that's a good thing then." She hiccupped again, as though laughing any other way was still odd to her and she grinned at me.

It was an odd feeling, seeing her smile like that at me. Her bright blue eyes twinkled, she looked happy in such an odd place and I...I felt good for her. I felt a kind of...warmth in my chest, and my face pulled into a smile of its own. She gasped in glee as I smiled at her and she laughed again, but this time it wasn't a hiccup.

It was a full laugh, filled with glee and happiness. She fell back, her legs kicking in the air and I had to look away again, tempted to touch her.

_A sharp cry of pain, I stare down at the woman beneath me, my hand planted over her mouth as she claws at my hands and face. I take my hand from her mouth as I continue to fill her, over and over I take her, grabbing her wrists and forcing them to the cold hard ground. She writhes beneath me as I pushed both her wrists under mine, feeling a great deal of power as I glance at the two small hands twisting and pulling beneath my one hand._

"_Get off me!" she screams at me, kicking at the air, but I push into her again, her knee hooking over my hip. I plant my other hand over her mouth again, not once relenting._

"_I told you already, this is what happens when you don't co-operate." She screams under my hand, closing her eyes and tears slip free, "Now take what you deserve."_

I stare at Pinkie as she giggles. Had her hair...become curly? She sat up, her legs splayed wide, her hands resting between them. God, why did she do that? Pushing her breasts together and inviting me...ugh...no. I couldn't. I couldn't do that...not now.

She grins at me and pushes herself onto her hands and knees, crawling to me again, "Why do you keep looking away from me?" she's still grinning at me, her eye sparkling with hope.

"You're...a woman and naked." I didn't want to beat around the bush, not with my cheeks red and my body stiff with agony. She frowned for a moment then she smiled shyly.

"I...I'm sorry." She grinned again, "I haven't done too much, have I?"

I looked down and frowned, "Uh...you have..." her frown died again, "Don't upset, Pinkie. It's okay." She smirked and I blanched. I had never seen that look from a girl before, let alone the Element of Laughter. She moved closer to me slowly, like a prowling lion, "P-pinkie?"

Her eyelids drooped for a moment and I backed off a little, "I...think you..._need_ me..." she whispered huskily.

"Oh, god, no...Pinkie, you aren't in-" she stopped me by leaping at me. _She is._

She had me pinned to the floor, her face close to mine as she breathed me in and nuzzled my neck. _Oh fuck_. The sensation of her hot breath on my skin made me shiver and her hands slowly worked their way down my chest. _Oh god, no..._

"Pinkie...Pinkie you don't..." she gripped my light peppering of hair and tugged. I let out a soft, strangled cry of shock, as she leant close again, "Pinkie...stop..."

She shook her head, gently kissing my cheek, "But you want me..."

"Pinkie, don't do this if that's what you think." She slunk back for a moment, "I don't want you to do this if you don't want to." She blinked at me. _Is that why she leapt at me?_ She climbed off me, kneeling beside me and staring as I moved onto my elbows.

"Honest? You don't expect me to do anything for you?" she looked uncomfortable and I nodded.

"Honest." I smiled at her and she relaxed, smiling again. She sighed and rolled her shoulders, slinking back a little.

"Do you want me to give you some space?" she looked away uncomfortably, "While you...while you..."

I smiled at her, blushing, "You don't have to say it. And sure." She smiled again and slunk away as I moved as far away from her as possible.

Pinkie Pie

Thank god...thank god...I sat away from Ashen, glad that he'd made me stop. I was starting to shake, sitting near a barrel and swallowed nervously. I'd come so close to doing something out of debt, something that had seemed so precious to me in a previous life...

No, that _was_ my life. It felt distant and odd, but it was _my_ life. I could still live it...couldn't I?

I absently touched my sides, but I didn't come across any bumps. I looked down, hopeful that I would find my Cutie Marks back, but realised I'd simply skimmed a part of my skin where I hadn't sown into.

How had I even managed this? Where had I gotten a bloody needle in the first place? And the wire? I glanced at the door Ashen had closed behind us the night before and I eased myself onto my feet. It was a little awkward to walk, like I had chosen to crawl in my insanity. Maybe I had. The memories were coming to me in flashes with no coherent linear form and I hated it.

But I had my laughter back. I was happy again. Although, I wasn't sure how long that would last. Ashen was busy, doing what he needed to do, which was a thought I wasn't prepared to dwell on. I opened the door he'd slammed closed and heard his panicked voice, "Pinkie?! What are you doing?!" he panted slightly after he'd yelled out to me.

"I'm seeing if there's anything in here we can take with us...maybe use it." I tried not to glance back at him and succeeded. I didn't want to see the corpses again, but I sighed, forcing the fresh memories away. No other flashbacks came to me so I pushed forward, taking the needle and the ball of wire. I tried to ignore the lifeless faces staring at me, and found several candles.

I didn't even consider looking in the direction Ashen had come from. Severely creeped out and feeling weighed down by guilt, I raced out of the room and slammed the door shut. How had I managed to kill so many people? How had I managed to do everything I had done and not felt remorse? I had seen them _all _as Twilight, hadn't it occurred to me that maybe there were too many of them? I leant against the door, sinking to the floor and keeping my knees close, trying to fight tears. I dropped the needle, wire and candles to my feet, hiding my face beneath my arms.

What had I been doing? All I had been thinking was Twilight had to understand...she had to understand how we had felt...then I took it further and further with each 'Twilight' that I killed...

I tried not to cry, shaking and biting my lip, but eventually it was too much to keep in. Something about a period of insanity made a person want to cry until they were out of energy and fell asleep. But I had to keep awake. I cried, allowing myself the opportunity to cry, but I knew I had to keep it restrained.

"Pinkie?" I heard Ashen call to me, stopping what he was doing, "Are you-"

I waved him away, "I...I just need a minute. Finish-" I hiccupped, "-just..."

He hesitated, but he did what I asked. I sobbed quietly, before eventually stopping myself. I couldn't sleep all the time we were here. We had to get out of here. Then we could get some help. Then I could ask myself why and get answers.

I picked up the candles, needles and wire again, forcing myself to stand and moving to the door. Had we checked it the night before? I couldn't remember. Maybe we had...I put out objects down and turned the knob. It clicked halfway. _Damn..._

I glanced down at the needle, "Are you almost done, Ashen?" he grunted at me and I smirked. He couldn't answer. I shouldn't have expected him to, so I knelt beside the door and waited.

I heard him sigh and swallow, "Sorry, Pinkie..."

I laughed softly, "It's okay. Have you checked that side of the room for anything we might need?"

He hesitated, but he shrugged, "No, I don't think I have. Give me a second."

He was quiet for a moment as I looked over the wire, needle and three candles. We could use the candles to see our way in the dark, and the wire would be helpful for a great number of purposes, but at the moment, the only use I had for the needle was mending wounds and opening locked doors. Unless we found keys.

Ashen returned to my side, his cheeks flushed red and panting softly. He dropped a few boxes of matches at my feet and two candles, along with a rather large shirt. He smiled at me, "Put the shirt on, Pinkie."

I shook my head, "You need it more than I do."

He wasn't going to argue with me it seemed. He opened the shirt up and dumped it over my head. I cried out in shock, but he was laughing and I eventually managed to put it on properly. He was laughing and eventually I did too. It was a nice change from the dreary, dark atmosphere of this place.

Laughter really was the best medicine after all. I'd never seen it so important in my whole life.

Ashen Cinders

We finally stopped laughing after what felt like ages and she sat up, giggling before she picked up the needle. I looked at her, feeling more comfortable looking at her in the giant shirt as she stood and peered into the keyhole. The shirt was a t-shirt, so the sleeves were short, but it was long enough that it hung comfortably below her rear, which made conversation easier. She knelt back down and smiled at me, "Well? Ashen Cinders? Any thoughts before we press into the next room?"

I looked at her before pushing myself up to my feet, "Well...no, other than thank you." She blinked at me twice. I took the hint and the bait, "I asked you to stop, I asked you not to do something you didn't want to do, even if you felt obliged to. And you did." I smiled at her again, "And that's why I'm saying thank you."

She blushed slightly before clearing her throat and turning back to the door, holding the needle in her fingers. I heard several slight clicks before a significantly loud clang caused me to jump. Pinkie and I froze still for a moment, ears poised and listening for noises, but none came and she carefully edged the door open.


End file.
